Soapbox Time

For the next few minutes, I'll be getting up on my soapbox to share my opinion.  If you choose to skip this post, I promise not to have any hard feelings. 

Today is August 1, "Chick-Fil-A Day" to some.  Personally, I'll be glad when this day is over because I'm quite tired of the hype associated with it.  I'm worried that there may be protests, fights, and possible injuries because of this day.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, let's recap.  The owners of Chick-Fil-A have expressed their position on gay marriage.  People are irate about it.  Why?  Do you honestly think that every business owner you patronize shares your same belief system?  If you do, you're the most naive person I've ever heard of. 

We all have opinions.  They vary.  That's what makes the world go round.  I personally think that chocolate is the best flavor of ice cream.  If you're a vanilla kind of person, we can still be friends.  (Now, those strawberry people have no place with us!  Just kidding.)

Individual people and entire cities have declared a boycott of Chick-Fil-A for its opinions.  I'm sorry, but I see that as a double standard.  You're judging someone based on their strong beliefs, yet you're doing the exact same thing by protesting based on your strong beliefs. 

The folks up in arms are acting like the restaurant chain has refused service to gay couples.  That never happened.  In fact, they haven't conducted business any differently recently.  All they did was state their opinion when asked.

One comment I saw from a lovely demonstrator said that it's the same thing as refusing service to black couples.  Really?  I don't see how that's the same.  No one has been refused service at any point. 

Again, I will go back to the point that major business owners are going to have strong opinions that are likely going to differ from yours.   The CEO of Ford is either for or against abortion.  The owner of McDonald's is either Republican or Democrat.  The people in charge over at Starbuck's, Old Navy, and NBC have opinions on welfare, health care, and education.  If you want to take the time to research all their beliefs before you decide whether or not to patronize them, you are going to be one busy dude. 

If you've noticed, I haven't shared my opinion regarding gay marriage.  I simply addressed the hype associated with the Chick-Fil-A events.  Although, if you've read my blog for long, you probably won't have a hard time figuring out what side of the fence I'm on and I'm not ashamed about that.

Enjoy your waffle fries today.

That's How I Know

Some might wonder, how do you know you're still in love with your husband after all those years?  I'll tell you how I know.  It's the laughter. 

I call him at work every morning after I drop the last kid off at school.  (He always answers the phone, "Hello, Beautiful.")  This morning, we got talking about the way he used to dress when we were first dating.  This was in 1992, just under two decades ago.  I was a frizzy haired, Express leather jacket wearing, penny loafers clad, preppy girl.  He was scheduled to pick me up for one of our first dates.  We'd been out a few times but were still in the beginning process of our courtship.  I prepped for an hour.  I'm sure my hair was extra tall that day.  If you can believe it, I actually remember what I wore.  I was lookin' fine by 90s standards!

This tall, skinny, guy arrived to pick me up.  He was wearing an old t-shirt, a pair of royal blue sweatpants that said BRONCOS down one leg, and dirty Asic Gel tennis shoes with horribly huge tongues sticking out.  I took one look at him and wondered, What have I gotten myself into?  I happily climbed into his '80-something, black Grand Am and rode to the mall.  (Yeah, we had a lot of dates at the mall.)  It was that very shopping trip that I talked him into purchasing a brand new, stylish pair of Nikes.  I had a hard time being seen with a guy who wore Asics and sweatpants.

Years later, we were still together and I confessed to him that I used to be embarrassed by the way he dressed in the early nineties.  By this time, he was wearing Ralph Lauren sweaters and Structure jeans.  I fixed him.  He agreed that he didn't know what he was thinking and it became a big joke to us.

Again this morning, we got talking about the Broncos sweatpants.  I recently found them, stashed away in a box, when I was cleaning out the basement.  I cared enough to hide them from him but apparently had enough memories of them that I couldn't throw them away.  We laughed and laughed while he made fun of himself.  He said if it wasn't for me, he would be one of those people who goes to the grocery store in his pajamas (he knows that's a pet peeve of mine).  I said, "Well, you showed up for our date in your pajamas!  You know you were in bed sleeping in those sweatpants while I was getting ready.  You rolled out of bed, put gel in your hair, and picked me up!"  I love how we can laugh together about the old times!

Am I the only one who was once embarrassed by their future spouse's appearance???

Phone Calls from Work

I mentioned to Hubby the other day how weird it would be if there were no such things as cell phones.  He works a long day, you've all heard me complain about it before.  He drives a big FedEx truck and his route is an hour away from the terminal.  He logs a lot of hours and drives a lot of miles.  The good thing about that is we get to talk a lot during the day.  When he's driving from town to town out there in the boonies, he usually calls me.  If I'm not busy, we get to chat for ten minutes at a time.

When he first began working for FedEx, which wasn't even FedEx at the time, there were no such things as cell phones.  Well, there were, but they came in a bag and had to plug into your car.  I think the phone calls were something like a bazillion dollars a minute and we were poor.  So he had a pager.  Yeah, he was that cool.  We came up with codes, as all of you 80s children like me did.  111 meant "Call me."  123 meant "I love you."  Of course, there was the universal 911 that meant "Drop whatever you're doing and rush to a pay phone!"  I'm not sure if I ever actually used that code.

Now that he's so far away during the day, those pay phone calls would have cost us a fortune.  Have you ever called long distance from a pay phone?  Probably not.  Do you even remember what long distance is?  We're so spoiled, aren't we?

Since we talk often, the conversations can become a little mundane.  Here's one from yesterday:

Hubby:  What's for dinner?
Me:  Roast beef.
Hubby:  (groan)
Me:  Why do you say that?
Hubby:  What is roast beef?
Me:  You like that.
Hubby:  I used to, but the last time you made it, it was ewww.
Me:  (offended) What?!  No it wasn't!
Hubby:  Oh, you mean roast beef with potatoes and carrots and stuff?
Me:  Yeah!
Hubby:  Oh, yeah, I like that.
Me:  Then what were you talking about that was gross?
Hubby:  I think that was meatloaf.
Me:  I've never made meatloaf in my entire life.
Hubby:  No, it wasn't yours.  It was from KFC.
Me:  Ewww, that does sound gross!
Hubby:  OK, I'll talk to ya later then.
Me:  OK, bye.

See...that's what I'd be missing out on if we were still in the pre-cell phone days.

Conversations

A phone conversation between Hubby and me yesterday morning:

Boy, it's awfully quiet there, where are the kids?
I'm in the bathroom.  No one is here with me.
Oh, that's why it's quiet.
I'm hiding from them.  It's nice to actually be in the bathroom without anyone else being in there.  That's why I'm not leaving.
When I build a house, I'm putting in a secret bathroom that no one else knows about so I can sneak in there and be by myself.  It will be inside the walls so no one knows where it is.
So if I don't know where it is, are you going to be the one to clean it?
Naw, I won't clean it!
Oh, that's nice.  Can you imagine how that will smell after a couple weeks?
That's why I'm going to call it The Dungeon!
Our home will smell like a medieval castle!
Then maybe I'll call it The Privy!
Oh, that's just lovely.

This is what life is like around here.

Potato Stories

What's the deal with couples fighting and potatoes?  I read this blog post by Hillary last night before going to bed.  It made me smile, even though I understood her immense frustration.  She hoped to arrive home from work in time to mash the potatoes that her husband started for dinner.  Relieved that they were still boiling, she looked inside the pot to find whole, unpeeled potatoes.  Of course, they weren't cooked because they were whole.  This sparked a great fight between husband and wife.  It immediately reminded me of a story my mother has told hundreds of times throughout the years.

My parents had only been married a few months when she decided to make a nice roast for dinner.  She put the meat on to cook earlier in the day and asked my father to add the potatoes at a certain time.  When she arrived home, the wonderful aroma of perfectly cooked roast beef filled the house.  She peeked at the cooking dinner but was shocked by what she saw.  Around the roast were several whole potatoes.  Floating around in the rich broth were little brown specks.  Dirt.  Not only did my father not peel and cut up the potatoes, he didn't even wash them!  My mother remembers crying as she threw the entire dinner in the trash.  Confused, my father didn't understand why she was so angry.  (He probably would have eaten the dirty food.)  "You said to put potatoes in with the roast.  You didn't say to wash or peel them."  Today, she is able to laugh at this story, as Hillary will too (some day).  But back then, it surely wasn't funny.  So for years and years to come, she wrote notes in great detail.

1.  Wash potatoes.

2.  Wrap them in aluminum foil.

3.  Put them in the oven.

4.  Turn on the oven to 350.

5.  Close the oven door.

As I thought of these two stories, it brought back a potato memory of my own.  When Hubby and I were first married, we were in the middle of a huge, horrible fight.  Right now, I can't remember what it was about.  I just remember that it was big.  It seems like I even refused to make dinner because of how angry I was.  So Hubby took it upon himself to fix something to eat.  He put a whole potato on a plate, put it in the microwave, pushed 10:00, and went upstairs.  (I had never microwaved a potato at any point of our marriage so I have no clue where he got this idea.)  About seven minutes into this process, I entered the kitchen to discover a horrible smell.  There was smoke billowing from the microwave.  I quickly opened the door to find a potato immersed in flames.  Hubby was nowhere around.  I started yelling about the same time the smoke detector started beeping.  He ran down, completely shocked that ten minutes in the microwave was too long for a potato.  The smoke left black soot all over my white wallpaper with green ivy on it.  The white and green plate was burnt black.  The potato ended up as ashes.  I had to call off work the next day to scrub down my entire first floor.  The microwave was ruined, the plate was ruined, and the smell lasted for several days.  But after this event, neither of us could remember why we were fighting in the first place.  But I must say, a new fight resulted.

So I don't know what's the deal with potatoes.  But I will warn you, if a potato discussion arises between you and your spouse, LOOK OUT!  Trouble may lie ahead!

Crystal Anniversary

I'm too young to have been married 15 years already!  Well, actually, I kind of am.  I was only 19 when I married, just a couple weeks from my 20th birthday.  It was a cold, rainy day in May - the best day of my life.  Afterward, we went to Disney World where people didn't believe we were old enough to be honeymooners.

We decided to do 15 years big.  Fewer people are achieving 15 years of marriage, especially at my age.  So yesterday, I spent the entire day trying to plan a trip for us to celebrate.  Since it was less than 14 days until departure, that feat was not easy.  I absolutely despise travel planning!  I am so freakishly meticulous about searching every place possible to find the very best deal.  That's why it took all stinkin' day long!

Finally, I gave in and realized I would not likely find anything better on jim-bobs-travel.com.  I booked a trip- Viva Las Vegas, baby!  A friend of Hubby's asked, "Why the @#*! are you going to Vegas?  You don't drink, party, or gamble!"  True.  The answer: because we want to.  We've never been there and we want to experience it once in our lifetimes without the kids.  It was cheaper than flying to New York, Chicago, or many destinations closer to us.  I am totally excited and can't wait!  We've had nothing but cold rain here lately and I am pumped to experience 85 sunny degrees!

So that is why there was no post yesterday.

Hubby thinks we should renew our vows with Elvis.  I think not.  I hope to share lots of pics upon my return!

Royal Hype

Are you caught up in all the hype over the Royal Wedding?  Did you wake up early this morning to catch the live footage (assuming you live on this side of the world)?

I'm not a fanatic, yet I'm very interested in watching the wedding.  I haven't caught it yet but it's recorded waiting to be viewed at a proper hour.  I wish I had a group of friends coming over tonight, wearing large brimmed hats, to watch the event of the year together.  I would brew some Earl Grey tea and make scones.  Maybe I would try to duplicate one of the appetizers rumored to be served at the wedding reception.  But alas, I have no such friends who wish to spend their Friday evening donning a silly hat.  Maybe Hubby....never mind, I won't even finish that sentence.

I was far too young to have been involved in the frenzy associated with the last Royal Wedding.  But I seem to remember people talking about it's significance.  My own daughter is 6 1/2, possibly old enough to enjoy this storybook wedding.  She truly believes she is a real princess so she might actually take an interest after all.  Boy, would she sure love to have been a flower girl in that wedding!

So, if you're watching, have a fabulous time.  And if you're celebrating with a proper tea party, please share!  (Or better yet, invite me!  I'll bring my own teacup!)

Happy in Marriage

Years ago, I attended a marriage retreat in an out-of-the-way, upscale Amish hotel. Our church used to host these events annually. I am typically the kind of person whose memory lasts as long as a fruit fly's lifetime. But once in a while, something makes such an impression on me that I remember it, almost verbatim, for years. The retreat I'm referencing is one of those occasions.

Tuesday, I read a blog posting from one of my favorite bloggers. He was describing the shortcomings of men, at least as seen through the eyes of (bitter) women. That post brought me back to a specific seminar at this retreat. The speaker discussed the differences between men's and women's needs. The main need in a man's life is respect. The most detrimental things to his masculinity are being disrespected and torn down. He can't function with a bruised ego. To see a man exist to his greatest potential, I, as a woman, must build up his ego.

But we women are made up of completely different ingredients. The most important thing to our existence is the need to be loved and valued. If a man cannot hold down a job to support us, mentally challenge us with though-provoking conversation, or express similar interests BUT, he loves us unconditionally, treats us like a queen, and does anything short of dying for us, we will be content. But how do you get your man to meet your emotional needs? If you build him up, honor him, and respect him, he will want to value you.

OK, feminists, settle down now! I'm not suggesting that a woman become a passive pushover who allows her man to trample her. A woman can respectfully demand respect. When your man is on the top of his manly mountain, kindly suggest to him some ways he could meet your emotional needs. If you each learn to live to fulfill the needs of the other, your marriage will be a happy one.

Did you know that it takes two positives to eliminate one negative? It's true. If you belittle or degrade your spouse, it will take two acts of kindness to equal the hurt caused by that solitary, painful act. Spend the next week keeping a mental score. But only focus on your score; don't track your spouse's score just yet. Be honest with yourself and make a note of any hurtful things you might say or do. Then track the uplifting things. When the positives surpass the negatives, you will see your spouse's score begin to change too. I've tried it...it works.

This little lecture is also for my benefit to remind me what marriage is about. When I decided to start living for him, the quality of my marriage and my life improved. I'm one of the minorities: a young woman happy in marriage and in life.

A Heated Debate

The biggest ongoing fight Hubby and I are involved in is the Saga of the Electric Blanket. This self-heating square of fuzzy, blue fleece is putting a strain on our marriage. First, you have to know a little bit about the make up of the two of us. I am always hot. I overheat easily and refuse to wear a coat until the temperature is below freezing. Hubby, on the other hand, is always freezing. He wears gloves from September to May and dons pitiful looking long johns under his Sunday suits. So when it comes time to say goodnight, I in my flannel pajamas and he in only his undies don't exactly get along. He cranks the blanket up to "H" every night and leaves it on. In retaliation, I flip over all my blankets on his side, giving him double the warmth. That just makes him happier. In time, we may resort to the I Love Lucy style of matching twin beds. But then where would I put my cold feet at night, the only part of my body that does occasionally resemble ice cubes?

That's How You Know

How do you know you're still in love? When you see your Love from a distance, in an unexpected place, and you think to yourself, Wow. Then you can't help but allow a little smile to spread across your lips, even when you're standing in front of 600 people who may or may not be looking at you. That's when you know. Sorry to be sappy, but I'm still loving Hubby today after 14 years of marriage. If you are still in love, make sure to let it be known today. (And yes, "That's How You Know" from Enchanted is playing in my mind right now.)