Going Back to School: The New Norm

Our governor recently released the guidelines for returning to school in the Fall.  Most of them were things I expected, considering the talk circulating over the recent weeks and months.  Much of it sounds improbable, but staff are going to do all they can to make things work.  I came to terms with the fact that I would be wearing a face mask for 7 hours each day.  I have a very soft voice, so I'm concerned about being heard through my mask.  I'm going to end up straining my voice by trying to amplify while I teach.  I also drink a lot of water throughout the day.  That may have to change.  

I work in a self-contained unit for students with emotional disturbance and behavior disorders.  In layman's terms, there are four adults in the classroom for twelve children.  We often have to go hands-on with the students and sometimes must physically restrain them for safety reasons.  We have all been trained and certified to handle these situations.  Our students spit and bite, but we typically keep emotions under control so that this rarely happens.  I fear that their knowledge of the virus will cause them to spit more frequently, because they realize the power their bodily fluids now possess.  

The students in my class are also runners.  If something doesn't go their way, they are likely to get up and bolt out of the classroom.  Last year was a record year for me.  I took to wearing athletic shoes because I was running so often.  We even had a student get out of the building once.  (Well, he was already out of the building because he began running right from the school bus.)  Going hands-on with a student I'm supposed to stay six feet from is not something I'm looking forward to doing.  My coworkers and I have already discussed that we will likely allow the students more freedom to "have a meltdown" without intervention, but they will be removed to online instruction following such an event.  Our goal is for no physical restraints this year.  

It's surely not going to be ideal, but it's something we all must accept.  It's the new normal.  Another new norm is how the major cities of our state have recently mandated face masks in public.  Our small town has not yet gotten to that point, but I'm sure it will happen.  It's no change for me because I always wear one in public; it's for the safety of others.  An article I read said that they expect the change to occur like banning smoking in public places.  It was easy to enforce because it came with the threat of civil punishment.  Personally, I think it's very unfair to expect police officers to enforce another, very controversial issue in these times of turmoil.  People who oppose masks may become hostile if a police officer tells them they must wear one in public.  Once again, these guys need defended, not defunded. 

I'd love to hear the thoughts of others, especially school employees and parents, of how the return to school looks in your district.  Please comment if you have something to say!

4 years

I can't believe it's been nearly 4 years since I've blogged on this platform.  An awful lot has changed.  I entered my 40s.  Two sons have graduated high school and are pursuing engineering degrees.  That "Baby Girl" of mine is entering her second year of middle school, and her "Big Sis" will be starting her third year of high school!

My last post talked about returning to work after an 18-year hiatus.  Well, that kind of worked out.  I got hired into the district by Thanksgiving of that year and found out I had a niche for students with emotional disturbance and behavior disorders.  I've held two different jobs in that capacity, and have since realized my desire to move to the next level.  I enrolled in an online college, and I'm now one class away from my special education degree!  I will be licensed K-12 as a mild to moderate intervention specialist.  Working full time and taking classes full time, while still caring for my family and household has been a tremendous undertaking.

That cruise I last wrote about represented a major transition point in our lives.  It happened on our first day of vacation.  Before we set sail, Hubby received a call from his job.  Upon his return back to work, his pay would be significantly reduced- by 28%, to be specific.  It put a tremendous damper on the entire trip.  The reason is that his employers were angry with him for pursuing the police academy.  His full intention was to remain dedicated to his primary job, only working police side jobs on the weekend.  It was actually none of their business what he did outside work hours.  They told him he wasn't being a team player because he took on a second job.  When he returned the first day, a coworker asked, "What are you doing here?"  Hubby simply stated that he was back from vacation.  The friend informed Hubby that they assumed he would quit, so they already replaced him.  That was a shot to the gut.  After talking to our attorney, Hubby decided not to return.  He worked 28 hours a week as a part-time officer for quite some time while I made peanuts.  It was an extremely trying time for us, especially financially.

Fast-forward a bit...the Chief asked Hubby if he would ever be interested in becoming a full-time officer.  Hubby confirmed that it was his dream, but he was past the age cutoff.  The Chief replied, "Hmmm...let's see what we can do about that."  After many months, a lot of paperwork, and petitioning of the right people, the Chief was able to get the city ordinance changed to allow citizens up to age 45 to take the civil service exam!  Hubby did well, and was hired full time a few months after that!  It was a blessing from God!

I doubt any of the people who read my blog back in the day are still around, but if you are, I wanted to give an update about my life.  It keeps moving along, keeps changing, and keeps progressing.  Sometimes you wish you could hit the pause button, other times you'd like to rewind or fast-forward.  None of that is possible, however, and we must each embrace the moment in which we are living.

Here's to today.  Cheers!

August is like the Sunday of Summer

It's been a great summer, and far too long since I've updated!  It makes me sad to notice that it's getting darker earlier and that the kids' school stuff has claimed residency all over my dining room.  It's hard to believe that summer is nearly over.  It seemed to last an eternity when I was a kid!

It's still in the 90s here and far too humid to be outside.  The upstairs of my house is too warm to make sleeping comfortable, but we're thankful for the ceiling fan!  I think the area where I live has some of the most extreme weather in the country.  Thankfully, we didn't break 100 degrees this year, even though we typically do.  Winters drop down below zero by 20-25 degrees.  I'm trying to enjoy the heat while it lasts!

Steak, Lobster, Escargot, & Ice Cream!

Even though it wasn't in our budget, we found a way to take the kids on a family vacation this year!  We technically hadn't been on a real vacation in 3 years.  (I do not count driving to New Orleans for a wedding a vacation!)  I knew the only way we could go was to go on a cruise.  Trying to feed and entertain this family for a week, after paying for flights and hotel accommodations, was definitely something we couldn't afford.

We chose a 5-day cruise on Royal Caribbean out of Miami.  We stopped at Grand Cayman Island and Key West.  I'd never been to either port before and really enjoyed both!  The ship was a little disappointing as far as things to do, but I still had a great time.  Big Sis was caught right between the little kids and the teens.  I wish there had been more for her.  She's a trouper though.  Baby Girl had a blast in the little kids club!  The boys didn't do much aside from eating.  They were disappointed there wasn't basketball or putt-putt golf.  The teen club fell a little short too.  You get what you pay for and the smallest boat in the fleet was all we could afford.  I read several books and had lots of fun!

She was voted
Queen of the Night!

Right before we left for the trip, I quit Hubby's side job.  We had talked about quitting part of it because it was getting unreasonable.  We had been cleaning an apartment job for 3 years and never got an increase of wages.  One of the owners did nothing but complain about our work, which was very degrading to us.  He kept demanding more and more out of us and was never happy.  For what we were getting paid, it was ludicrous.  We cleaned the laundry rooms and parking lot areas once a week.  It took the Hubby and I and both girls 1 to 1 1/2 hours to finish the job well.  Afterward, we always went to our favorite pizza joint.  What we got paid was $3 short of even paying for our dinner.  Yeah, not worth it.

Anyhow, when Hubby got home, I nervously proclaimed, "I quit your job."  He asked, "Which one?"  (He knew we were only talking about cleaning and mowing the apartments.)  "All of them," I answered.  He wasn't too happy.  He was hung up on the money and didn't see how we could afford to quit.  It turned out to be the best decision ever.  He ended up being so relaxed on vacation and mentioned time after time that it was perfect timing.  Whew!!!

We got home on a Sunday and he started his part-time job with the police department on Tuesday!  His training officer is an army vet who we suspect to be part robot!  He's amazing and a perfect fit for Hubby!  He loves this job so much and is finally living out his dream!!!  He's realized, even though pay is very minimal as a part-time officer, that he's making very close to the same as the jobs I just quit, doing something he loves!!  I am so thankful, I can't even put it into words!  And you should see him in his full uniform!  He's quite dashing!!!

THEN- since there weren't enough changes in our lives yet.  I went out and got me one of them there jobs!  I signed up to be on the sub list as a teacher's aide at our home school district.  The woman who interviewed me laughed and said that I had quite an impressive resume'.  Most people applying for this job don't have teaching degrees.  I explained that this is exactly what I want right now.  I haven't worked outside the home in almost 18 years.  To go back full time could possibly kill me.  I still have all those responsibilities, kids, and side jobs at home to manage.  Most teacher aide positions here are 4-5 hours a day.  I think that's great.  The pay is absolutely insulting (minimum wage) but it's more than I'm making now!  I would enjoy staying on as a sub for a while, but they let me know that I would likely get hired right away.  She said she may call as early as the first day of school and will probably call most days.  Yikes...makes me kind of nervous!  I'm a little rusty...

So, school starts in 4 days.  I need to get my act together in case I have to go to work!!!

Hubby Passed

My friend is one of the school nurses in our district.  She travels from school to school.  Yesterday, she was at the middle school and Big Sis came in to see her.  Big Sis and the nurse's daughter are great friends, just like her mom and I were at that age.  I love it.  Anyhow, Big Sis said to the nurse, "My dad passed!"  The nurse answered, "Oh great, I didn't know if I'd heard that!"  Her daughter scolded her, "MOM!  Why are you acting happy that her dad passed away???  That's horrible!"  Both the nurse and Big Sis laughed.  The girl thought her friend's dad had died and her mom wasn't sympathetic enough.  

It turns out, Hubby passed his state police exam!  He is now trained and qualified to be a police officer!  He sat on pins and needles for two days, waiting to get the phone call.  We were doing an inspection at one of our tenant's apartments when he found out.  We explained to her that Hubby was expecting a very important phone call and would step out if he received it.  By the way, we call her Crazy Lady because she is one fry shy of a Happy Meal.  So, Hubby got the call and stepped outside into the snow.  I had to stand there talking to Crazy Lady about her bad teeth and iron levels while I was dying to be by Hubby's side.  He walked in the door, right past me and said, "OK, what do we have here...?" I called his name and he ignored me.  I said, "Did you pass?"  He ignored me again.  The unthinkable finally hit me...he must have failed!  I didn't think there was any chance he would fail...he studied his tail off!  So I rephrased my question, You failed?"  He looked back at me, pointed at my face, and said exuberantly, "No, I did not!"  I exclaimed, "You passed?!?!?"  He replied, "Yep!"  I gave him a playful slug on the arm, upset that I couldn't properly congratulate him.  This moment was a couple years in the making and we had to spend it with Crazy Lady and her crazy dog!!!

He breezed through the inspection and came back into the empty adjoining duplex.  I was able to give him a big hug and talk for a few seconds.  We had a new tenant arriving briefly to fill the vacant apartment.  It was not the magical moment I had hoped for, but since the results were positive, that's all I cared about!

Now he's up to his armpits in background and security checks.  Our local department wants to take him on part time!  He knows everyone down there and they all love him.  One of the female cops he knows well is pregnant and taking a break from patrol.  They've moved her into the detective bureau and she's the one assigned to his case.  She's coming over next week to interview me.  I'm kind of nervous about it...I tend to ramble when I get nervous and I try to be funny.  I'm scared I'll end up saying something stupid.  

It's amazing the things they need to know about you to be a cop.  I'm glad though...if all the cops in my community passed a thorough check like this, they all must be pretty decent people!  They need to know every car accident you've ever been involved in, all your financial information, every job, every home, and they require a list of contacts.  They will interview our family, friends, and neighbors.  I guess that's not too big of a deal for a 21-year old...but when you're 41, you have a lot more history to go through!  

Anyway, we are both so relieved that it's all over!  It's actually weird having him here in the evenings and on weekends!  I know that will all change again when he's working a second job, but at least he'll finally be getting paid for it!  

When I announced this on Facebook, I got some of the most positive and comforting comments.  They really meant a lot to me!  A lady from church said she has been praying for him recently and didn't know why.  Another said she will be praying a hedge of protection around him.  Several people mentioned they will pray for his protection.  I was blown away by the support!  

The 8-year old boy who lives inside my husband is finally getting his dream come true.  He's a policeman.  

Hubby Update

This week at Bible Study, the congregation broke up into men's and women's seminars.  Our pastor's wife spoke about relationships.  It was lovely.  As she was talking about the importance of respecting your husband, she made a comment that defines my present situation pretty well.  She said to allow your husband to live his dream.

Ever since we've been together, Hubby has wanted one of those intense, high action careers.  The top of the list included Firefighter, Police Officer, and Pilot.  I hindered him.  As the nervous girlfriend, then the paranoid wife, I discouraged him from having a dangerous job.  I've always regretted holding him back. 

Several years ago, Son #2 made a friend whose father was someone I graduated with.  The dad and I had several classes together in high school and he even dated one of my best friends.  Still, I don't think we ever once spoke.  I was a little on the shy side, comfortable only in my circle of friends.  He was shy too.  Since then, we've both broken out of our shells and have enjoyed a friendship that revolves around our sons.  At a school function a few years ago, he came in wearing a police uniform.  I realized that Hubby would immediately be smitten with him when he found out he was a cop.  He pestered me to ask Cop Dad if he could ride along sometime.  I didn't know him quite well enough to do that yet.  Finally, one day, it came up that Hubby would give his left arm for a ride-along.  Cop Dad happily obliged.

Since then, Cop Dad and Hubby have become, well BFFs, I guess.  Hubby rides along every chance he gets and all the guys at the station already know and tease with him.  They joke that the two of them have a Bromance going on because they're all huge cut-ups.  I've come to realize I will probably never get a ticket in this town now because of my connection to Hubby and his Bestie. 

As they rode together, Cop Dad started talking to Hubby about the possibility of him becoming a part time officer.  The cut off for full-time is age 40, which was Hubby's current age.  Despite his age, he would honestly make a perfect police officer.  He is very physically fit, has good morals, and is a quick thinker.  There is no age restriction for part-time officers though.  So Hubby decided to enroll in the academy.

He found a local, very small college that offered a night academy.  You know, the kind of college that meets in a little building next to a Chili's.  No mascot, no sports team, and a name you'd be kind of embarrassed to mention.  He bugged and pestered the administrators, yet they just couldn't seem to get the evening classes going.  He was supposed to begin last October or November, but nothing ever happened.  Finally, he realized that this place is a big joke and not capable of organizing classes.  He was pretty bummed.

He began exploring other options, finding another academy at a University 45 minutes away.  That would be a little difficult, trying to get there from work each day.  This is one of those accelerated programs that you cannot miss, no matter what the circumstance.  Finally, he found an evening class beginning in a few months at a real state college.  This one was only 30 minutes away.  (They even have a mascot.)  He told his boss at work that he would need a little bit of slack while he takes classes.  They obliged, thankful that he's still planning on keeping his day job.  (Sadly, he couldn't afford to be a full time officer.  Have you seen what these guys get paid for risking their lives each day???)

Classes started last week and I am now a college widow.  Hubby attends class Monday through Thursday, 5:30 to 9:30 (plus the half hour drive).  Saturdays go from 8:00 to 5:00 and about every other Sunday.  It's intense.  We know it's going to be a difficult road, but I think we can survive anything for six months.  He's expected to be done mid-December.  The Chief of Police in our town has already met and talked with Hubby.  He was excited about what he's doing and has promised him a commission when he graduates. 

We really wanted him to take classes through the winter when things are less busy.  He has a side lawn mowing business in the summer.  But that's not how things worked out.  All things happen for a reason, I think.  So I get to see him an hour or two in the middle of the day and for a couple minutes before he collapses into bed.  I'm kind of sporting the single parenting thing and family dinners aren't quite as gourmet as they used to be.  (The kids are just as happy with a Chef Boyardee pizza.)  But when I saw how cute he looked in his little fake cop uniform, I was proud of him.  He was most proud of passing the college entrance exam.  He's never attended college and didn't do exceptionally well in school.  When he got the acceptance letter on real college letterhead, I proudly hung it up.  We have a college student in the house now! 

So I don't need a Bible study lesson on respecting my husband.  He has my upmost respect and admiration as a husband, father, student, and future police officer.  I guess I'll have to call him Sir if he ever pulls me over! 

Seasons Change

Written in September of 2014, I'm going to post this one too.  I actually had the pictures placed and everything....I'm not sure why I never actually hit the "Publish" button!  

It's been months since I've posted, and let me tell you, that break did me good!  I had a restful summer and really tried to enjoy each and every moment.  My urgent demands took a hiatus and I was a little bit lazy.  I really feel like my stress level declined and I think I've made a new vow.  I'm not going to allow myself to take on that much again.  I have always been a people-pleaser and I have a hard time telling someone no.  But at the rate I was going, I was going to eventually explode.  That's not good.  So I'm gonna chill a little and try to enjoy this thing called life.

Things that have changed since my last post:

~ I have thrown a couple great birthday parties.  Big Sis turned 10, a noteworthy milestone.  She had over a group of friends and I hosted her Mustache Bash!  I set up my photo booth, made some awesome decorations, and planned a scavenger hunt.  The worst part was that I got quite sick that morning and had a hard time pulling it all off.  She had a blast though!

~ Baby Girl turned 6 and had a Minecraft Birthday.  If you've never seen it, you won't appreciate it.  It's horribly ugly.  But she loved every pixelated image and enjoyed eating the grass, sand, and mushrooms.  She also broke her arm in late June and learned how to ride her bike just days after getting her cast off.  She is one neat chick!

~ Son #2's Destination Imagination team made it to Globals in Knoxville, TN.  It was an amazing trip and we has some awesome experiences!  The Chinese kicked our tails and we scored pretty low, but the kids had a blast!  If we ever make Globals again, I will make Hubby go with me.  Traveling and rooming with other DI moms was kind of difficult for me.  I was at the mercy of what everyone else wanted to do for a full week.  I missed my family!

~ I did get to travel with my family as we drove the SUV through 6 US States! My cousin got married in June.  I got to cross 3 new states off my bucket list!  We visited New Orleans while down in the deep south and saw all the Duck Dynasty stuff.  The weather was surprisingly chilly but the wedding was beautiful!

~ Two great friends had babies and I had a large part in those baby showers.  One of the showers was done in a moose theme and I slaved away decorating moose sugar cookies.  We ate chocolate "moose" and some of the best shower food I think I've ever had!

~ I bought a Silhouette Cameo.  Yeah, I'm trying to get crafty.  The funny part is, I have found the one crafty bone that is deep within my body.  Honestly, I actually bought it for the above mentioned shower.  We needed a moose cutout for the centerpieces and I had been wanting one anyhow.  (Boy, it sure would have made the mustache party easier....I cut out dozens of mustaches by hand!)  I had the photo booth buy it because I'm going to use it to make stick props (I paid $35 for the last set I bought!)  A friend of a friend was selling hers at a reduced rate because it was overwhelming for her.  Since then, I've been making some cards and I'm really enjoying it!

~ I now have 4 kids in school!  Baby Girl started Kindergarten a few weeks ago and all my kids are grown up.  If you must know, I did cry.  She did great though and hasn't given one objection!  All my other kids were very young (and small) in their classes.  It's kind of nice having a kid who is the oldest.  I'm thrilled that it's going so well!  I started a new tradition of taking her picture every morning on the front porch and texting it to Daddy and Grammy.  I'm kind of loving that.  Big Sis was accepted into the accelerated program in middle school!  She was right on the borderline, which means she's going to have to work very hard.  Because of that, we've decided to take a year off Bible Quizzing to focus on her studies.  Although both things are extremely important to me, I realize that getting her started on the right track in education will help her in the long run.  Plus, she's rubbing shoulders with the cream of the crop rather than the kids who only go to school because they have to.  I hope she can keep up!

~ 5 lbs. (well, maybe a little more).  That's about how much I've gained.  My skirts are getting a little tighter and I've got to nip this in the bud before it gets out of hand.  I worked way too hard to lose this weight and I'm not going to get fat again.  My 20 year class reunion (wowzers!) is this weekend, and I still look good enough.

~ I sort of got a new job!  Yes, I'm still running the photo booth.  I haven't had very many jobs lately, but I  haven't really been working it.  Hubby owns 6 rental units and, up to this point, has had them managed by an outside company.  The company was doing a horrible job and was quite dishonest at times.  We couldn't take it any more so we fired them.  I took over the management of the properties.  It was totally overwhelming at first because I didn't know what I was doing.  But I'm getting the hang of it now.  I just wish I could make these lousy tenants pay!  We've already had one eviction and had to clean horribly disgusting stuff out of someone's apartment.  I don't know how a person could move out and leave all their crap behind!  The last few tenants that the management company put it were hoodlums.  They weren't doing background checks.  We have two great new tenants and two bad ones that will probably be skipping town soon anyway.  People amaze me.

Things that have NOT changed since my last post:

~ People are still self-centered jerks.  I got confronted by someone who asked me why I stopped following them on Instagram.  Seriously.  Then this person proceeded to make snarky, vague comments about me on my friends' pictures.  Silly me, I thought MY Instagram was for MY enjoyment and pleasure.  I thought I had the right to stop following someone who posted 22 photos (the majority being selfies) in one day.  Next time I'll be sure and ask permission before managing my own social media.

~ Couponing and saving money.  My kids have even given me a new nickname, which is a combination of my actual name and the word "cheap."  I adore it!  My grocery stockpile is bigger than ever and my grocery receipts say I've saved over $2,800 in the past twelve months!  We got rid of our satellite provider and are really enjoying the $100 we save every month!  I've missed television very little.  We eat at home more often and have found little ways to cut costs.  It sure adds up when we start listing the ways we're saving!

~ Son #1's attitude.  He's still a bit of a punk.  I'm ready for this stage to pass, and I'm being as tough as ever to keep him on the right track.  Tell me my efforts will eventually pay off!  He's officially taller than his mom and he'll be able to get his temps next month!  Eek!  He's in such a hurry to grow up.  I wish he would just slow down.

~ I'm still trying to be Super Mom.  But my definition of Super Mom has altered slightly.  Super Mom is someone who is NOT always stressed.  Super Mom doesn't yell at her kids all the time (I'm really working hard on that one).  Super Mom doesn't have to impress all the other moms with her actions.  She simply has to do what is best for her family and herself.

I wish you all a Super Mom kind of day and urge you to regularly examine your priorities.  Too many people in this world have their priorities mixed up and they're living for the unimportant.  I'm trying really hard to make sure I'm living for what's important.  Keeping it real...

Painting and Mowing

I'm taking a break from painting and remodeling to rest my tired, old bones for a bit.  Painting two rooms with a 2-mile run in between is no easy task.  I'm feeling every one of my 37 years.

I actually just finished up the second coat in the girls' room, waiting til it dries to check for missed spots.  I'm very unsure about the color.  Taking a photo of it will not help because it looks a totally color in pictures.  I was aiming for a Tiffany blue, but it's much bolder than I planned.  I should have gone one shade lighter on the paint card.  But when I was making this decision alone, with 3 kids running through the hardware store, the shade lighter looked barely more colored than white.  Even in this photo, the paint looks barely blue.

I wanted pink.  The girls did not.  They don't like pink any more.  It's all about blue now.  I dislike blue, yet I can live with Tiffany blue.  It has just a speck of green to make it interesting.  I am not repainting because I'm tired.  My hands and shoulders are crampy.  We'll have to live with it.  Maybe I'll hang a lot of stuff on the walls to mask the boldness.

A funny thing happened to a friend of mine the other day and I wanted to get an outsider's opinion about the ridiculousness of it all.  He's a hard-working man with a full time job.  He lives in the nice area of town with the manicured lawns and brick homes of the local doctors.  Some of the people up there are very hoity-toity.  They act like they are paying thousands in association fees, which they are not.  Anyhow, my friend was mowing one evening when his neighbor came over.
The guy nicely said, "OK, let's wrap it up...I'm ready to relax for the evening."
My confused friend answered, "What???"
"It's 8:30 at night and I'm ready to relax.  Shut the mower down."
"Ha ha...yeah right," my friend thought he was kidding.
"No, I'm serious.  It's 8:30.  Time to turn that off."

My friend is not shy in any way and nearly got into a fist fight with the man.  My cousin recently purchased a house in the same development, a mere 1/4 mile away.  His neighbor tromped through the yard, not as calmly, and started yelling at my cousin.  He informed my cousin that he's mowing all wrong.  He is not allowed to shoot any grass clippings into the neighbor's yard.  I'm not a landscaper, but I imagine that might be a difficult thing to do.  The man claimed that his entire yard is full of weeds because of how my cousin mows his grass.  He's never had weeds before and now his yard is covered in them.  Let me go ahead and mention that my cousin pays to have his grass treated and has no weeds himself.

I find is unreal that people think they can tell their neighbors when and how to mow their grass.  I've never really had "real" neighbors, since everyone I live by is related.  We have strangers across the street, but they've only caused such problems as barking dogs and a loud argument here and there.  Are most neighbors this picky?

My other cousin, who lives in between these other two men got yelled at by his neighbor for planting the wrong kind of grass when he built his house.  Let me state again that this is not a gated community full of $10 million homes.  It's an mid-upper scale allotment with teachers, policemen, and bankers.

I'd rather live in a less desirable neighborhood and be able to manage my grass however I want.

Grrrr...

This is a vent post about why I hate my husband's job.  Be warned.

I came home late last night to find Hubby passed out on the bathroom floor.  Literally.  The kids and I went to church before Hubby was home from work.  I had a practice afterward so I sent Son #2 and Big Sis home with my aunt.  She dropped them off at the house, apparently with their father.

I arrived home about twenty minutes later.  Son #2 met me at the door and said, "Dad's really sick."  I knew he was sick because he called home from work and asked me to set the NyQuil out.  He tends to be a bit dramatic when he's sick so I wasn't too worried.  I hung up my coat and Baby Girl's coat, took off my shoes, and put my bag away.  I walked upstairs to find my husband lying on the bathroom floor.  I called his name.  No response.  I called his name again.  Still no response.  I nudged him with my foot and called his name louder.  Still nothing.  Son #1 was already next to him when I got there and told me, "He has a pulse."  Well, I sure hope so!  This time, I leaned down, shook him, and yelled his name again.  He opened his eyes and stared blankly at me. 
"Why are you laying on the floor?!" I asked. 
"I don't know," he said. 
"You don't know?!?!" 
He kind of shook his head while still lying there.  He attempted to sit up and fell back down. 
I asked if he was asleep or if he passed out.  He said he didn't know but his head hurt. 
"Well, yeah, you probably hit it on the sink!"  He assured me he didn't hit his head, it was just a headache.

I finally got him up off the floor and into bed.  I asked again several more times if he was asleep or passed out.  He couldn't remember.  He said he was sitting by the toilet, throwing up, and that's the last thing he remembered.  I'll just be honest and say that I was totally freaked out.

I questioned Son #2 about how he found his father when he arrived home.  He said Dad was sitting on the floor with his back to him, leaning up against the sink.  #2 tried to talk to him but he didn't answer.  I told #2 he should have immediately called me.  He said he thought Dad was just feeling bad and didn't feel like talking.  He didn't notice if his eyes were open or closed.  Hubby apparently slumped over onto the ground from that sitting position.

Once in bed, he was making a bit more sense.  I asked if he had taken the NyQuil.  He said he had but threw up right afterward.  I told him he wouldn't be able to go to work and I would take care of it if he needed me to.  "No," he said, "I have to go to work.  It's peak season."

I slept on the couch to allow him to rest.  I was so worried about him that I hooked up the baby monitor in his room so I could hear if he needed me. 

So, a grown man was passed out from sickness, he was monitored during the night by a worried wife, yet he went to work in the morning.  That's just not right.

This morning, I got up when he did.  Again, I tried to talk him into calling off.  "She, you can't call off there!" he said.  (Which I know is true.)  I was worried about him driving into work but he assured me he would be fine.  I knew I was fighting a losing battle so I went back to bed for another 45 minutes.

Years ago, my husband was in the hospital.  I had to call into his work and tell them he wouldn't be in a for a few days.  Those people had the nerve to give me a hard time, telling me they wouldn't be able to cover for him.  I got quite rude and told them he was hospitalized and there was nothing he could do.  They acted like they were doing me a giant favor.  Gee, thanks.  Another time when he was in the hospital, they told him that he was in danger of losing his contract if he didn't service it.  Thanks, guys.

So that is why I hate my husband's job.  But in this economy, who has the right to complain?  At least he's employed.

Stirring Up the Past

I had a dream last night that I quit my job.  That's weird for two reasons.  #1, I don't have a job.  #2, I think that the "job" I quit in my dream was actually the last job I had, which I quit.

I quit working 13 years ago this December when I was five months pregnant with Son #1.  I worked with horrible, terrible people.  The thing that upsets me most about having this dream is that I apparently still allow these awful people to have a hold over me.  It's been 13 years and I'm ready to have freedom from them.

I am so not the kind of person who is quick to yell "discrimination."  Yet, I feel like I was discriminated against on this job.  I was young, thin (well, not for long, since I was pregnant), married, and white.  The two assistants were older,  African-American women who had been assistants for years and years.  This was my first full-time job in the school system and they were under me.   The other head teacher was a classic spinster.  Older, unmarried, overweight, unpretty, and bitter.  I told my fellow employees right away that I was pregnant because I was suffering from morning sickness.  The first thing Spinster said was, "Are you even three months yet?"  It was said in a degrading, snotty way.  "No," I replied.  "I just wanted you to know in case you see me bolt to the restroom."  The First Foot was apparently the wrong foot.

The assistants- they made my life a living hades.  They were lazy and wanted to spend their days chatting with one another.  Spinster, for some reason, allowed them to get away with that.  The two women took attendance in the morning, prepared the students' lunch (which means they took the packaged meals out of a hot box and set the milks on the table.)  Then they felt that they were done for the day.  That's two easy chores in a seven hour time period.

When they began hating me was when I asked my assistant to do something.  You would think there was lava raining from the sky.  She retaliated, got angry, and reported me to my supervisor.  Guys, I asked her to wipe another child's nose.  I would ask any of you to do that too.  I was occupied with another student and noticed someone's nose running toward their mouth.  She was standing there, doing nothing, so I asked if she would wipe the child's nose.  She huffed away, got a tissue, and brought it to me.  I had to stop what I was doing, track down the child, and clean his nose.

In my frustration, I vented to Spinster.  I didn't tell her who I was talking about; there were three other people in our classroom that day.  She told the assistant I was talking about her and they reported me together.  That was the day I realized I was in this on my own.

There were other small problems along the way but one major issue was the last straw for me.  The students took naps every day on cots.  That's when the teachers took lunch breaks (still in the classroom...no true breaks).  When the kids woke up, we stacked the cots and continued on with our day.  The other teacher and I were responsible for teaching the kids while the assistants again did nothing.  It only made sense that they were the ones to stack and clean the cots, since they had no other duties.  But the four of us always did it together. 

One day, a student had an accident while napping.  Since there were 31 other kids I was in charge of teaching, I didn't clean up the accident.  It wasn't my job.  The assistant told me that I needed to get down and clean up the pee.  She even brought me a wad of paper towels.  I politely told her that I would not be cleaning it up.  The other students were waiting for me and I needed to attend to them.  I was 5 months pregnant and getting down on the floor was getting more difficult.  I decided it was time to stand up for myself.  I continued on with my job while she stood behind the counter, talking about me.

The next day, the child who had the accident could not find his cot.  He walked around asking all the teachers where it was.  They shrugged and sent him to ask me, even though I was on my lunch break.  I sighed, put down my sandwich, and found his cot.  It was stacked against the wall.  I set it down and told him to lay on it.  My assistant went crazy.  The cot had not been cleaned since his accident yesterday.  Even though I was teaching and she was talking, she never cleaned it.  The teachers began harassing me.  I felt tears begin to well up.  Blame it on pregnancy hormones if you want but I wonder how I would have handled it even if I hadn't been pregnant.  I refused to cry in front of the students.  I went to the office phone and tried to call my supervisor.  This had to stop immediately.  She was not in but my former supervisor was.  I explained to her what was going on and how I wasn't able to cope.  I was physically sick from the abuse.  The day was nearly over and the students were leaving in a matter of minutes.  She told me to leave. 

Trying to follow procedure, I told Spinster and the two assistants that I was sick and was leaving.  My assistant turned to the other assistant and loudly said, "She's not sick."  They continued talking about me at a volume that the kids and I could all hear.  I walked out the door and never turned back.

I was reprimanded for leaving without the permission of my direct supervisor, who was not able to be reached.  I explained that I felt like I was going to vomit and needed to leave.  She didn't care.  Someone suggested that I seek the help of my union representative.  He was in an uproar about the situation but didn't actually do anything.  He told me to use all of the sick time I'd accumulated and call in sick every day.  That took me up to Christmas break and then I quit.

The thing that bothers me most about this entire situation is that I wonder if it was actually me who was difficult to get along with.  Should have I just done everything they ordered me to do, including their work?  Was I wrong to stand up for myself?  Am I the one who is hard to get along with?  Even though I don't have problems like this in other areas in my life, I've always wondered if the problem was me.  Throughout the years, I've seen people in public who I mistook for these former coworkers.  I immediately got a sense of panic and felt nauseous.  I think the diagnosis is that I was bullied.  Bullied as an adult. 

What helps me through it is to look at my life now.  I've never had to go to work a day since that happened.  These people are still working hard for a living.  I have a husband and four beautiful children.  I am happy.  I am content.  The only thing is that I still cannot let it go.  I don't know why it still has a hold over me and it angers me to realize that it does.  Hopefully time will heal all wounds.  I'm still waiting to be healed from this one.

My Work Week

Sorry no wonderfully creative or thought-provoking post today.  If you remember, I said this week was a "Workation" for us.  Well, it's Thursday and there hasn't been a whole lot of work going on yet.  Yesterday, we did this instead:

We have a very beautiful local zoo so I determined to take Baby Girl's 3 year pictures while we were there.  (1 month late.)  They did not turn out.  The lighting was too bright, which shadowed her face.  She was very distracted and wouldn't look at the camera long enough for me to snap pictures.  And I'm starting to wonder if maybe my lens is out of alignment.  I should have that checked....someday....

So today, the work began full force (after breakfast at Bob Evans).  We're moving in high gear now so I need to get back to work.  If Hubby sees me blogging....

Break time is over for now.  See ya tomorrow!

Workation

Hubby is off work next week.  Slacking off and having fun is what we will not be doing.  We won't even be calling this week a Staycation.  Just the opposite, my friend, we are having a Workation. 

Hubby scheduled the week off so very long ago.  We knew we would have just returned from a big vacation so we planned this week to "get stuff done around the house."  Anything that's gone wrong in the house over the past few months has been pushed to the back burner.  "We'll get to it in October when we have a week off."

I love lists.  I love making them; I love organizing them.  But I hate doing the things on them.  This list includes annual/semi-annual things like changing furnace filters, water filters, and smoke detector batteries.  It includes things that aren't difficult but we've just been too lazy to do, like hanging pictures.  It also includes some more advanced projects that Hubby doesn't even know about yet. 

Sherwin-Williams
Gingery

I plan on painting our lower living room.  Right after we painted it last time, we had a home security system installed.  It created holes in various places.  We also changed from a TV mounted on the wall to one sitting on a base.  That means we have all kinds of craziness going on where the TV once hung.  I'm thinking about a caramel color, that's not too close to burnt orange.  I hope the room isn't too small for that dark of a color.  The room is currently a sage green color.

I wish I had a better eye for decor.  My house needs a serious makeover.  I love when you guys post pictures of things that are going on in your home.  I peek around in the background to see how you have your house decorated.  I've come to the conclusion that ya'll are much cutsier than I.  Maybe I'll take some snapshots around the house and ask your opinion.  Or better yet, I'll welcome any of you into my home to do some serious redecorating.  (Anyone feel like a road trip???)

Uh-oh...looks like our projects for next week just got a lot more intense!  I'll have to add it to the list.