~my thoughts about life~

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Survived the Storm

I made it.  I survived 2015.  I realize you probably think I'm being a little dramatic, that most people to utter that phrase are referring to surviving something like cancer.  Thanks to God, I don't have to say that I'm a cancer survivor.  But I will say that the past twelve months have been the most difficult time of my life.  While I wouldn't want to repeat it for a million dollars, I must admit that I'm thankful I went through it.  I learned.  I learned a lot.  And I'm better off today and more thankful because of it.

Rewind to one year ago right now.  Hubby was working in another state for 10 days because he was that dedicated to his company's operation.  Yes, it was Christmas.  No, I couldn't sacrifice him.  But he did it anyway. "We'll make it worth your while," he was told.  Sure, he got a couple extra hundred bucks, but it definitely wasn't worth his while.

I took on so much extra stress while he was gone. I took on too much.  I ended up in the hospital twice with what turned out to be a pinched nerve.  I honestly thought I had a brain tumor and was dying.  It was a long road of recovery, and I still feel the effects of it.  But I keep up with my physical therapy exercises at home and I haven't had a recurrence since.  What I learned:  know your limits, value health, family always comes through.  My mom ended up having to take care of my children, who were down with a horrid flu, because I was lying immovable in bed, in excruciating pain, on Christmas Day.

A couple weeks later, I had a partial hysterectomy.  Much less painful than the previously mentioned event, this was one of the best parts of my year.  I have had no complications and my life is so much better since the surgery.  No complaints there!

Sometime between Spring and Summer, I went through the most difficult parenting trial ever.  And I thought the toddler years were difficult!  I guess I'm not cut out to be the mom of teenagers.  I would rather clean up baby vomit from my shoulder and sit on the carpet singing You Are My Sunshine.  But to sit up at night, lecturing your son on the dangers of following the wrong crowd...I don't have the strength for that.  Lesson learned:  there's no such thing as too tough.  Even though the other parents are lax and seem to have no worries, their kids are up to the same things...they just don't know it.  Cherish the good times, no matter how few and far between they are.  Demand family time, demand participation.  Demand respect, demand accountability.  When rules aren't followed and attitudes are poor, there are no luxuries.  My only requirements as a parent are to provide food and shelter.  Luxuries are earned and will be given when seen fit.  I can't say that this battle is over, but it's definitely better.  We still argue, we still fight.  (That's normal.)  But he has learned not to take it too far.  He knows when to stop.  He's trying harder, I think.  We're all happier now.  (Although I'm none too happy about the C in Pre-Calc right now.  "Choose your battles....choose your battles....")

In Summer, Hubby started the police academy.  I knew it would be a challenge, but I didn't know how great!  He left for work every morning by 6:00 AM.  He typically came home around 2:00 for an hour or two.  He left for school then and got home at 10:00 PM.  The kids were in bed by then, so I warmed up his dinner and we sat together while he ate, eyes drooping shut.  Saturdays and Sundays were all day.  That wasn't the worst of it.  That job he gave so much for (remember 10 days out of state?) started giving him trouble.  His boss suddenly got angry about what he was doing.  Even though it was discussed before he started, even though his boss knew what was involved, even though he agreed to Hubby getting off early (and docking his pay because of it), he decided to change the rules.  He started giving him longer and farther away routes.  While other drivers were getting back to the terminal between noon and 2:00, Hubby was staying out until 4:00.  He had to call Son #1 to meet him off the highway to bring his school clothes.  When he talked to his boss about it, his boss said that he shouldn't waste time going home between work and school.  He needed to go straight from one to another.  So, that meant that he no longer saw the kids Monday through Thursday.  Hubby reminded his boss that he was aware of the situation and agreed to it in advance.  His reply was, "I know and I wish I would have never done that!"  He ended up writing Hubby up for not being dedicated to "The Team."  Hubby was crushed.  He had never, ever been written up before.  For weeks, we thought they were going to fire him.  He was working as hard as he could and was doing more than other drivers.  It was so incredibly irritating.  This man, who has been like family for 20 years now, shattered my husband.  Hubby lost his natural father when he was 11.  His boss stepped in and became a father figure to him.  He hugged him, told him he loved him, and always supported him.  Suddenly, he stopped.  It angered me that Hubby had to lose two fathers in life.

Lesson learned:  never count on anything or anyone.  Things can change in a heartbeat.  Persistence pays off.  Sometimes you have to trudge through the desert to make it to the other side.  When the going gets tough, hit your knees.  Prayer is probably the only thing that got me through.  I'm happy to say that Hubby completed his course at the top of the class!  He is officially a college graduate, something he's very proud to say.  He is nearly a real cop...he just has to pass his state test next month.  I'm very proud of him and not at all surprised he did so well.  He was born to do this.  He just figured it out a couple decades late!  :)

Well, that's enough rambling for today.  There's so much more, but those are stories for another time.  Until then, I'm quite happy to say I'm Done!  I'm caught up!  Hubby is finished with school, the Christmas shopping is complete, the presents are wrapped, the house is clean, school is out for the year, the laundry is caught up, the dishes are washed.  I'm ready to sit down now and take it easy with a cup of tea.

1 comment:

Mimsie said...

That was quite a year. I hope 2016 is a much better year for you and your family. I first came across your blog several Christmases ago, when you broke your foot.