Complaining in the Rain

I encountered a woman yesterday who is so very bitter about her lack of "stuff" in life.  She's a woman I stand next to every day on the sidewalk of the school.  We wait together for our kids to be dismissed.  We've exchanged the basic pleasantries, but I don't even know her name.  I know she's a single mom who walks to school every day.  During bad weather, I notice she often catches a ride with a neighbor.

Yesterday, it was raining cats and dogs (and elephants and hippopotamuses).  I had to pick up Son #1 and his tuba first, then go directly to Big Sis' school.  When I parked, I realized I didn't have an umbrella.  Growling, I realized that Hubby probably had at least three in his car.  I couldn't see the pickup spot from my car to know if it was time yet.  So I threw my coat over my head and ran to the sidewalk.  I noticed The Woman had a huge umbrella and I planned to ask if I could stand underneath with her.  As soon as I approached, the wind took her umbrella and demolished it.  She cursed and threw the umbrella down.  I muttered something halfway funny about us both being in bad shape, but she wasn't amused.  Realizing that the teacher wasn't there with her class yet, I ran back to wait in my car.

When the students finally arrived, I ran back through the flooded parking lot and picked up Big Sis.  I still had to pick up my little cousin on the other side of the parking lot, so I walked Big Sis back to the car.  It was then that I saw The Woman getting ready to walk home with her daughter.  "Do you guys want a ride?" I asked.  She exuberantly accepted and I pointed out my car to her.  "Go get in my van while I pick up my cousin," I told her.  "My kids are in there."

I splish-sploshed to the other end of the line, retrieved my cousin, and ran back to the car.  The Woman was in the front while my kids sat in the back.  I knew about where The Woman lived, which was on the way to my cousin's house.  I surely didn't mind giving her a lift.

We engaged in small talk on the ride, discussing the weather and other things.  She wondered if we would get a snow day this week.  I replied that a snow day would be nice.  She said she hoped not tomorrow, because she had a work appointment.  "Oh, where do you work?" was the natural response.  "I don't work," she replied.  I said something breezy in response and then asked if she was still in school.  She mentioned school once before to me.  No, she's not in school either.  That's when my problem began.

This woman does not work.  She does not take classes.  She has one child who is in school most of the day.  Yet she complains.  She complains about her junky phone.  She complains about having to walk to school.  She complains about not having a car.  I'm not sure what she does all day, but now I know that it's not work.

Pardon me for my frankness, but I was raised with the belief that you had to lie in the bed you made for yourself.  In other words, if you don't have a job, you can't expect to have nice things.  Am I alone in this?  This woman apparently lives totally on the government.  She has no live-in boyfriend supporting her. She has a home, food, nice clothes, and a cell phone.  Who is paying for these things?  She's not disabled.

I am getting sick and tired of this lazy society that expects someone else to take care of their needs.  I will continue to be nice to The Woman, as I am a nice person.  I will offer her rides home on rainy days because I believe in lending a hand to the less fortunate.  I can't say that I'm happy with the situation though.

Maybe I'm the only one who has these thoughts and I'm sure I'll hear from those who don't share my opinion.  I'm just getting fed up and needed to vent about it.  It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to!

WWTK

It's Wednesday again, which brings us to another installment of We Want to Know!  Every week, there are five random questions to answer.  I love answering questions about myself!  If you'd like to play along, visit Kenzie or Scriptor and link up.

- - QUESTIONS - -

{no. 1} Where is your favorite place to go on vacation, and if you could choose any place to go where would you go?

I don't have one favorite place to vacation.  My idea of a perfect vacation is to do something different than last time.  I am not a time share kind of person.  I want to visit all 50 states before I die.  My favorite vacations to this point were San Francisco, New York, and Disney World.  I also really enjoy a nice, relaxing vacation at a cabin in the mountains with a hot tub on the deck and no people around.  If I could choose any place to go, it would be Italy.  I would love to visit Venice and Greece before I die.  Time to start the bucket list, I guess!

Taken by me, August 2011

{no. 2} What is your favorite hobby?

Hobbies?  Oh yeah, that's stuff you do for fun when you don't have anything else going on.  I used to have hobbies!  OK, I'm exaggerating.  I enjoy baking, reading, biking, photography, and blogging.  I used to love entertaining, but haven't found time to do that in quite a while.  What I do most often right now in the little spare time I have is play stupid games on my phone that are way too addicting!  I also enjoy crashing in front of the television in the evenings, after the kids are in bed and the house is quiet.

I make a mean sugar cookie!

{no. 3} When you need to get out of the house, what do you do? 

Usually, I go to Target.  I could easily shop there every day and not get bored.  Hubby and I enjoy eating out, namely Chipotle, but anywhere is good.  I enjoy shopping, but not too often.  I have to be in the mood and have money to spend.  When it's nice out, I really enjoy doing things outside.  

Outdoor shopping, a definite favorite!

{no. 4} What is your go to date night idea?

I'm going to have to say Chipotle and Target again.  Actual date nights are rare and we're too cheap to go anywhere more expensive.  On our last planned date night, we rode our bikes from home to an Italian restaurant about 7 miles away.  We loved it!

NYC was a great date for our anniversary!

{no. 5} Do you have any tattoos, if so what of and where?

Um, no.  Never have, never will.

Chewed Up & Spit Out

Last night, I got the biggest bawling out since my mom found out I was in a car that was playing "Mailbox Baseball" when I was 15.  And this altercation wasn't by my mom.

I was passing by a woman at church who asked if she could talk to me.  It sounded casual, so I thought she was going to ask about photography, shoes, or something else totally random.  Wrong.  She was on a mission to bring me down.

She started off by saying, "You're lucky I didn't find you when I first found out about this because I wouldn't have been able to exercise self-control..." This was immediately after a Bible study on self-control.  I thought she was teasing so I causally chuckled.  Wrong again.

I'll spare you the details, but she was all riled up over a photo of her that was printed in our church pictorial calendar.  I'm the unofficial photographer of the church so I spend the entire year snapping photos of things that happen at church functions.  At the end of the year, I submit all those photos to the church secretary who chooses enough to fill twelve pages and creates photo collages for the calendar.  Most people approach me, complaining that their photo wasn't in the calendar again.

This woman continued by saying she specifically told me to delete any photos taken of her when she saw me snapping them one day.  This was last winter and I do not remember the conversation.  Sure, that's my bad.  I apologized for my error, told her I didn't remember that conversation, and was ready to end the conversation.  Boy, was I on a streak of wrongness.  She was not done.

She went on and on, for what seemed like an eternity, telling me how wrong I was for what I did.  She said things like, "How could you do that to me?" and "I couldn't believe you did that after I specifically told you not to."  She even went on to say that the photo was hideous.  At that point, she crossed the line when she criticized my work.

I was still trying to be breezy and say things like, "You looked beautiful in that picture!"  She is a very pretty woman.  That didn't work.  She told me she never allows her picture to be taken.  I said the words "I'm sorry" way more times than I can count.  How many times does a person have to apologize?  I admitted my wrong, which cannot be changed.  It's over, it's time to let it go.  She still wasn't ready to let it go.

She reamed me out for well over five minutes, which is a long time to just stand there and take it.  And that's what I did.  I stood there, I let her humiliate me, and I profusely apologized.  I was mortified.  I was embarrassed.  I fought back tears.  It was horrible.  

When I was recounting the story to my mother, who is a friend of hers, she asked how I finally got out of the conversation.  I honestly could not remember how I was able to get away.  I do remember getting to the exit as quickly as possible before the tears came.

The most interesting thing about the conversation was when she said, "I have a bit of a fetish about getting my picture taken."  All I said was, "Yeah, it sounds like you do."  It's more than a fetish.  It's a mental illness.

That's one day I don't care to ever relive.  I have never been treated that badly my entire adult life.  Unfortunately, I will never feel comfortable around this person ever again.  She's friends with my brother and parents.  She doesn't have a lot of other friends and she just lost the chance of being mine again.  

What should a person do in a situation like that?  I handled it as best as I could, since I was completely and utterly blindsided.  Now, I just keep replaying the conversation over and over, wondering what I should have done differently.  I determined that I'm very thankful for my mental health.  Not everyone has the luxury of being mentally sound.  

WWTK

It's been another one of those crazy weeks, you know- the kind where I didn't even get dinner last night, picked up Subway on Tuesday, and for the life of me, can't even remember what I ate for dinner Monday night.  All I do remember is that it was late.  No Mother of the Year Awards will be given to me this week.  Anyhoo- that's why I'm a day late with WWTK.  It looked like a fun one so I didn't want to pass on it.

- - QUESTIONS - -

{no. 1} Describe what high school was like for you. Include details like where you went, your dedication to certain subjects, etc.

High school was 19 to 23 years ago for me.  I was a big, fat nerd.  Well, I only weighed 120 lbs., so I wasn't actually fat.  I was in Honors classes, Choir, Yearbook staff, Girls' Ensemble, and Spanish Club.  I kept an A/B average and actually cared.  I didn't smoke, drink, or party.  I never had detention, even though I was suspended once.  Language Art subjects were my favorite and I adored my Composition class.  

I'm in the front, middle

{no. 2} On a typical Friday night in high school, what could you be found doing?

I was at church!  Our youth group had services on Fridays.  We all piled on the church vans  after service and went out to a restaurant.  It was the best part of my week.

I'm in the middle - riding the church vans

{no. 3} Did you own a car in high school?

My cousin gave me her 1984 Dodge 600 for free.  I was pretty pumped to drive it!  I named it Stormy because it was the color of a storm cloud and sounded like thunder.  Ah, good times!

The front of my shirt said Duck Head and the back said Duck Tail.  Classy.

{no. 4} Sum up your fashion sense in high school.

Penny loafers or Keds, jean skirts, cardigans, and turtlenecks, big hair and big glasses.  I had a brown leather jacket from Express that I thought was the bomb-diggity!  It provided no warmth but I wore it every single day.  

The beginning of a long, beautiful relationship

{no. 5} Have you attended any high school reunions?

We had a 5 year and a 10 year.  They were both actually a lot of fun.  I still ended up hanging out with my group of nerds and current friends, but we enjoyed making fun of the people who let themselves go after high school.  Over the summer, I attended Hubby's 20 year reunion, which was a lot of fun too.  I remember a lot of people from his class, even though I didn't speak to any of them in high school.  I was shy and they were stupid...taking Freshmen classes their Junior year.  

Airing Out Dirty Laundry

I moved up another notch on the scale of Little House on the Prairie-ness.  (My goal is to be halfway between an Ingalls and a tech-savvy woman of the 21st century.  How eclectic!)

This morning, I made my own laundry detergent!  Yes, you all know I'm cheap.  You also know that I am lazy.  Adding up the pros & cons, I decided that I can do this once or twice a year to save some big bucks.  I must say, it wasn't that hard.

I have a friend who always smells so clean and fresh.  Finally, I asked her what kind of laundry soap she used.  She replied that she makes her own!  She said it saves her lots of money.  I was immediately on board!  I hounded her until she gave me the list of ingredients and went to a couple different stores to find them.

Here's what you need:
1 bar Fels Naptha
Super Washing Soda
Borax
Optional oil for scent:  Tea Tree Oil, Lavender, Lemon, etc.
5 gallon bucket

I found the Fels Naptha at the grocery store.  I found the Borax at my alternate grocery store.  I had to look around for the Super Washing Soda, but finally found it at Target.  I also got generic Tea Tree Oil at Target.  That was a year ago.  I finally came down to having 1 load of detergent left and the refusal to buy more.  I hounded my friend again for the exact directions.

Son #2 was my assistant.  He is both the best in Science and Cooking, so he was the obvious choice.  He was off school today, his brother is on a trip, his sister was at a friend's house, and his other sister was sleeping.  So actually, he was the only choice (and the photographer).

Here's what we did:

1.  Shave the bar of soap into a pot.  (I used my vegetable peeler.  Hope it doesn't make my potatoes taste like soap next time!)

2.  Add 4 C hot water to the soap and melt on the stove.

3.  Once it's completely dissolved, remove from heat and add rest of ingredients.

4.  Pour into a 5 gallon bucket and fill with warm water 3/4 of the way.

5.  Add your scent.  I used Tea Tree Oil, because that's what she uses.  I added 20 drops.  Also, did you know that Tea Tree Oil deters lice?  When someone had it in my daughter's class, I added a couple drops to her brush and combed through her hair.  My friend adds a few drops to her shampoo.  Just a nice, little tip.

5.  Let sit several hours, preferably overnight.  This is where we are so far.  I'm going to let it sit overnight.  (I need to buy a funnel first anyway!)

6.  Pour the concentrate into jugs, filling halfway.  Fill with water.  (I saved my empty laundry jugs for the last year or so.  My friend uses milk jugs.)  Shake well before each use.

Hopefully I'll be smelling clean and fresh from now on!  (Actually, I hope I always have been, but you know what I mean!)

Randomness

I have a head cold.  I am grouchy.

Sunday, I accidentally picked up Hubby's Coke and drank from his straw.  When I tasted the disgusting liquid (I am very partial to Diet Coke), I nearly spewed it out of my mouth, realizing I now had his cold germs.  Yep.

~{}~

I have A LOT to do today, even though I just want to lie on the couch with the TV as background noise.

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Sunday is our first bridal show for the photo booth.  I'm very anxious/nervous.  Today, I plan on setting up the booth in my living room and testing everything.  I also want to print old photo strips out to make a sample scrapbook for potential clients to browse.  Boy, am I glad I put that model release blurb on my contract!

~{}~

Son #1 also has his first concert of the season on Sunday.  Why everything on Sundays?  Don't people know that church and nap day?  I don't like to do anything on Sundays but go to church, eat, and nap.  I don't know if I'll even be able to make the concert.

~{}~

Baby Girl is obsessed with Just Dance, which we got for Christmas.  She plays every day now.  She can do everything on her own, except for actually turning the game on.  I have countless hours of video of her shaking that cute, itty-bitty rump of hers, but I doubt you want to watch them all.

~{}~

I'm thinking it's about time to start my tomato seeds.  I had an awesome garden two years ago and really missed it last year.  Boy, it was a lot of work though!

~{}~

I am also thinking about running the half marathon in September.  Am I totally nuts???

~{}~

I have some big, exciting news...I think I'm getting my new camera on Saturday!  I've saved every dime I've made from my photography to purchase better equipment.  I'm not quite there yet, but Hubby said he'll take care of the rest.  Yeah, he's a sweetheart.  He'll probably tell everyone he got me the camera for V-Day!  :)  I'm OK with that.  Anyone have a Canon 60D?  It's what I want.  Our local camera store has a bundle that comes with two lenses.  I was actually kind of surprised at the price. I planned on paying more.

WWTK

     

- - QUESTIONS - -

In honor of Valentine's Day

 

 

 

 

 

{no. 1} What is your favorite flower?

I can't say that I have a favorite.  I love a mixture of anything.  I am partial to gardenias because my dad loved their intoxicating scent when I was little.  I had them in my wedding and smelling them makes me think of him.

{no. 2} Tell us about your favorite Valentine's Day:

OK, this is so NOT romantic.  After a church Valentine banquet, a large group of us went to a local rustic shopping complex that occupies a former oat factory.  It was the night of the NBA Slam Dunk contest.  About 15 of us sat there in front of a TV and watched the contest.  We were all dressed up, sipping on Coke, and feeling nervous.  Even though I didn't like the guy I was with, I actually had a really good time! 

 

Hubby and I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day.  Life is just too stinkin' busy!

{no. 3} Was Valentine's Day a big deal when you were a kid?

It was all about the Valentine box!  I remember scourging closets, looking for an empty shoe box.  Mom would help me wrap it in some festive paper and Dad would cut a slit in the top.  Every year, I felt like mine was the best and I was so proud of it.  I think kids today are missing out by not making a great deal over The Box.

{no. 4} If you could have any one thing for Valentine's Day what would it be?

Peace and quiet.  Or is that two things? 

 

{no. 5} Do you have any special plans for Valentine's Day?

Like I said, we don't make a big deal out of it. We never go out and we don't buy gifts. Sometimes, I'll bake something special for Hubby or cook a nice meal. I did buy steaks this week. Hopefully they turn out.  We will have four kids running around us as we eat them.  I may park them in front of the TV with a pizza or something. 

If you want to link up for We Want to Know Wednesdays, visit Kenzie or Scriptor!

The Weekend

We had a great weekend!  We met up with  some out-of-state friends and stayed in a hotel.  We swam in a pool with at least 547 other people, who were also taking advantage of a Groupon deal.  The husband half of the couple decided to pull me into the pool, even though I really did not want to get my hair wet.  It resulted in a partially thrown out back, a huge and very painful bruise on my shin, and quite a few scratches from my foot to my lower shin.  And yes, my hair got wet.  I tried all weekend to get him back, but never succeeded.

We ate at Mellow Mushroom, which I highly recommend!  Everything I tasted was incredible!  I really wish we had one around here.

We shopped at a fabulous mall and thoroughly enjoyed H&M (something else we don't have here). 

I enjoyed a piece of Godiva cheesecake, since our nearest Cheesecake Factory is an hour away.  It was worth the 20 minutes we stood in line at the takeout counter.

We laughed and laughed so hard, I had a hard time catching my breath at some points. 

I love little getaway trips like that!

Rainy Day Confessions

Confession:  I completely adore that One Direction song, You Don't Know You're Beautiful!  Yeah, I'm a middle schooler.  I didn't even know this song until we got Just Dance for Christmas.  In fact, I thought the band was called New Direction.  Now, I catch myself singing the song all the time around the house.  My kids are mortified.

 ~}{~

Confession:  I love the rain.  I know the only people who are supposed to love the rain are depressed poets or really dark, mysterious goth-type people.  I'm none of those.  I can't really explain why I love it so much.  I guess it makes me feel cozy.  When I got up this morning, the house was dark, warm, and clean, and it was pouring outside.  As I was drinking my Earl Gray, I instantly became happy.  Call me crazy.

~}{~

Confession:  My upstairs still looks like we were just robbed and vandalized.  You have to tread very carefully in the narrow hallway or you will trip on the pile of clothes lining the wall.  But when you get to the bottom of the steps, the house is nearly spotless!  Thanks, Title Agent, for coming over last night (a half hour early, while I was still vaccuuming) and forcing me to get this house in shape.  Well, the first floor at least.  I told Hubby that, if she asked to use the restroom, I would have to tell her no.

~}{~

Confession:  Hubby bought me TWO Cadbury Cream Eggs last night in celebration- one for closing on our rental apartments, and the second for completing the closet project!  I was as excited as a kid at Christmas and I may very possibly eat both of them today. 

~}{~

 

Confession:  Going to Son #2's presentation at school today is the last thing I want to do.  He is so excited for me to come and has been talking about it for days.  So, I will dress myself and Baby Girl, skip her nap, trudge out in this rain, and be a good mom.  OK, maybe I don't like the rain so much.

The Happenings

My house is SO messy, I don't even know where to start.  Worse than that, I have a title agent coming over tonight at 7.  It doesn't matter that walking anywhere in my house is difficult without tripping over something.  It also doesn't matter that I already confirmed to attending a Scentsy party.  Hubby has been trying to close on some apartments he bought for months now, so delaying it would be insanity.

~*~

Yesterday, I mustered up quite a bit of confidence and assembled the shelf for Hubby's new closet!  I was so incredibly proud of myself and I now know what a cam lock is.  Do you???  The directions said STOP, so I did.  I have to get my dad to help me install the shelves in the closet.  That's way beyond my ability.  Plus, each half weighs about 50 lbs., so they will sit in my living room until someone else can move them.  The title agent may have to step over them tonight.

~*~

Hubby has been afflicted with a horrid cold (which is why he's been no help with the closet project).  He woke up in the middle of the night, apparently in a NyQuil stupor, and almost fell down.  (And no, it wasn't because everything from his closet is in piles all over my room.  He hadn't made it to a pile yet.)  Also,  he kept saying, "Two, two."  I think someone took too much of the stinky green stuff.

~*~

The guy who works for Hubby decided to take the day off yesterday.  He didn't ask permission or even inform him of his plans.  When Hubby realized he hadn't heard from him at all, he finally called him.  The guy was at the library with his kid because he didn't have any work.  Nice.  Hubby blew up and told him he was sick as a dog and sure could have used some help.  This guy wants to take days off a couple times a month and still get paid for it.  Hubby almost fired him, but I talked him down.  I told him we needed to rewrite the business agreement ASAP.  I felt bad for the poor, sick guy.

~*~

Son #1 forgot parts of his project that he was supposed to work on at school today.  He texted me and said he needed it.  I asked which period and he answered first.  "Sorry," I replied, "There's nothing I can do."  Baby Girl was still sleeping and Big Sis doesn't leave for school until 8:30.  "But class ends at 8:48," he answered back.  I told him there was no way I could take her to school and drive almost 10 minutes to the school.  By the time he got to the office to get the supplies, he would have maybe 3 minutes left of the period.  Sorry, bud.  You've gotta learn your lesson sooner or later.  Yesterday, he got in trouble with his band teacher for forgetting his tuba.  "How could you forget a TUBA?" she said.  "It's huge!"  I agree with her.  I'm a tough-love kind of mom.  It's not always easy, but I think it's for the best. 

~*~ 

Enough stalling for now. I've got some major housework to tackle! Pandora radio should help me get through...