Tuesday, March 22, 2016
An Open Letter to The Other Woman
I know you. You are that person who dates other women's husbands. You are a mom at my kids' school. You are a co-worker. You are the barista who takes his order every day. On the outside, you are a normal, average person. You even have a great personality and lots of friends. You volunteer; you're active in the community. You put on a convincing charade. But I know who you really are.
You are incredibly self-centered. You are vicious; you are evil. You have no morals, no scruples, and you care only about yourself.
You sat down and weighed the pros and cons. At the end of it, you decided that you are totally fine with destroying a family. You're willing to do it because it makes you happy. You don't care about the people you hurt. It's only about you.
You don't care about that woman, the one who gave her blood, sweat, and tears to building a home and a family with this man. She bore his children. She took care of him when he was sick. She shared her deepest, most personal experiences with him. She helped him become what he is, the man you're attracted to. You are perfectly fine to be the reason for her excruciating pain.
You aren't bothered by the fact that his children are tucked into bed at night by a weeping mother. They cry into their pillows, trying to make sense of why their dad, their hero, chose you over them. Their young minds don't understand lust or its power. All they know is that Daddy cares more about some other lady and her kids than he does about his own. You don't care that this experience will haunt them for decades. It will affect their future relationships. These children will have trust issues, nightmares, and feelings that they're unloved. They will struggle in school. They will lose their appetites; their health will decline. You don't mind though. As long as you're happy.
How any person could knowingly and consciously make these decisions proves that they are a monster. Oh, I know- he was unhappy in his life. He hasn't loved her for years. She's not the same person he married. He was going to leave anyhow. He assured you that you didn't do anything wrong. It was his decision. Sorry, honey, that's not true. He was unhappy in his marriage because you came on to him, giving him thoughts and feelings he forgot he could have. You stirred it up. You flirted with him. You touched him, you smiled, you did something sweet and thoughtful to grab his attention. You wanted to see if you could attract him. You wanted to get his heart racing. It was a game. You wanted to feel good about yourself.
You won. You got what you wanted. Your prize is a middle-aged man who is overworked and stressed, whose best days are behind him. Feeling proud yet? Well, my purpose for writing this letter today is to give you a little dose of reality.
The first and most obvious thing is that he's a cheater. He cheated with you. Guess what? He's going to cheat on you too. If you honestly believe that he loves you more than he ever loved her, you're delusional. Your day will come...just wait.
You love this secret romance. You get a high from sneaking around, the late night texts, the planned meetings. The excitement that comes from exchanging a smile that no one else notices lights a fire inside you. You do realize that fire is going to burn out, don't you? Pretty soon, you're no longer forbidden fruit. You're not tempting. You're simply the new ball and chain. You'll be old hat soon enough.
To go along with that, your little love god is going to lose his luster too. He's going to start taking his bad work days out on you, now that he no longer has his wife to vent to. He's going to get sick, gain weight, and pass gas. He's going to develop little quirks that will quickly get on your nerves. His flaws and irritations are going to start coming out of the woodwork. The annoyances he used to hide are going to start surfacing, now that he's so comfortable with you. Wait and see just how human he actually is.
You know your reputation will follow you for life. People know about you. They talk. That old, scorned wife has told stories about you. Her friends know; their friends know. People who have never met you know all about what you did. When you meet someone in the future and they get a sudden, odd look on their face, it's because they just realized who you are. You're labeled. You might as well start wearing that scarlet A on your chest.
Maybe he's a great dad. Maybe he's been there for you and your kids. I'm sure you love seeing his relationship with them, how they tease one another and play together. They're going to get attached. After all, isn't that what you were trying to do anyway? Find them a baby daddy? The first time he says to you that these aren't his kids, and you realize he doesn't love them, it's going to crush you. When he does finally move on, you're going to be alone again, trying to console these children who have lost another man in their lives.
Eventually, things are going to come full circle for you. You're going to be the victim, the one hurt. You're going to be left alone, crying into your pillow at night. I'm sure it won't last long though. You'll go find another woman's husband and start all over again. Have fun with that. Enjoy the rest of your life as The Other Woman. Because you'll never, ever be a real woman.
Someone who is sick and tired of seeing people like you destroying so many lives
P.S. Stay away from my husband. I'm not as kind as the last woman you ravaged. I will take you down.