~my thoughts about life~

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

You're Not Invited to This Party

Don't ya just love it when someone or something puts you in your place?  I needed that recently.  I've been a little down recently, and I know most of it stems from Hubby's absence.  I miss him.  He's gone from the house 15 hours a day and it's getting to me.  They've also buckled down on using cell phones while driving commercial vehicles, so I barely get to even talk to him through the day.  Wah, wah...that's my sob story.

Because of my funk, I've kind of hosted myself a little pity party.  As you know, money has been really tight around here.  Hubby's pay cut combined with all the plumbing bills I recently mentioned, add in the increased cost for car insurance for a 16 year old boy, school fees, etc., etc., etc....  But it seems like all my friends are climbing those giant ladders of success.  They're buying new houses, new cars, new clothes, and going on exotic vacations.  We haven't been on vacation since June 2014.  School shopping was tough this year.  No one got new backpacks, lunch boxes, or coats.  The money just wasn't there.  They did get new clothes and shoes, but that had to be done.  They just keep growing!  I hate my car, but it's paid off.  I'm actually scared to try to make it through another winter with it.  My brother drives 3 of the nicest cars you've ever seen.  He lives in a small mansion.  They go to Disney and sail on cruise ships a couple times a year.  I'm jealous.

We've cancelled our security system, our home phone, our television service, and only eat out on Fridays.  I feel like I've cut out everything short of my cell phone and internet and we're still barely scraping by.  I take my daily three mile walk in the nice neighborhood and I feel sad.  I can't live there.

And then I see a photo like this:

What in the world is wrong with me???  I live in a beautiful 4-bedroom house with a half acre of land!  I have four healthy kids who are all doing great in school!  I sleep next to the love of my life every night, who has never been unfaithful to me, never hit me, and would lay down his life for me.  I'm healthy, not too bad looking, not overweight, not handicapped, and I have a dream job.  Not to mention that I have food to eat every day (a stockpile, nonetheless), clean water, one working toilet (ha!), heat, furniture, and a God who surprises me every day with countless blessings!  Again I ask, what in the world is wrong with me???  I am ashamed and embarrassed that I allowed my little pity party to go on as long as it has.  It's inexcusable.  

So, every time I feel that pity party starting to creep up on me, I shoot it down as quickly as possible.  I tell myself NO!  I'm not going to allow myself to think that way any more.

How about you?  Do you ever get down about things that truly aren't that bad in the first place??


Lisa said...

In 2003, after my divorce, my daughter and I lived for a year in a hotel. During the school year the school counselor called me into a meeting with a DFACS worker because she was concerned about our homelessness. I looked at them in the eye and told them that my daughter and I had a roof over our heads, a clean place to go home too with a door that locked. We had a bathroom with a bathtub and a functional toilet. We had a kitchen with a refrigerator, a stove and a microwave. We had a bedroom and a closet. We had cable TV, phone and internet service. We had food on our table, and the ability to get medical and dental attention if we needed it. I asked them what the thought that we were missing. I told them that I was not happy where we were living and asked if they were offering any suggestions or help. No, they were only there to criticize and condemn. I learned from that experience that I wasn't truly homeless. It did make me very grateful for what I had, even though it wasn't ideal. Situations change, and they will for you. Just don't forget what you know now.

The Lovely One said...

What a great lesson! There is always someone somewhere who has it worse off than you. I'm so glad that you have so many blessings, so much to be thankful for!