~my thoughts about life~

Thursday, January 24, 2013

No Courtesy

The longer I live, the less common courtesy I see in life.  When I finally see someone go out of their way to be kind, it's a shock.  Unfortunately, I have two stories today about the lack of common courtesy.

My parents were helping me by dropping off my son at one of his after school activities.  They pulled in the driveway and stopped to let him out of the car.  While he was getting out, the car in front of them threw it in reverse and plowed into them.  My dad even tried to quickly back out of her way, but he wasn't certain where my son was and didn't want to hit him.  Afterward, he realized he should have blown his horn, but you don't always make the best decisions in a quick moment.

The driver of the other car was irate at my father.  She said he was parked where she couldn't see him.  She also said, "Didn't you know I would just be dropping off and pulling back out?"  It doesn't matter.  When you drive backwards, it's your responsibility to check behind you.  What if my son or another child would have been walking behind her car? 

My parents, not wanting to create a difficult situation for me, asked the woman what she wanted to do.  She emphasized the fact that her car was damaged much worse than theirs and that each party should pay for their own.  My parents agreed, which totally infuriated me.  They were not at fault and should not be responsible for the damage done to their Lexus.  They didn't know if this person was a friend of mine and they were trying to keep peace.

The man of the house was a witness to the accident, but was suddenly nowhere to be found when details were hashed out.  I feel like he should have come to my dad's defense rather than hiding like a coward.

No courtesy.

The second event that happened regards my other son.  He recently got into a very small altercation with a peer whom he didn't know.  My son made some poor decisions and allowed his phone to be compromised by a friend, who also made poor decisions.  The other boy was defending someone he thought my son had hurt.  My son took it as a joke and made smart comments that he thought were funny.  We found out about this by randomly checking his text messages.  After I read them and questioned him down, I realized that the other boy is the son of my friend.  I felt horrible that she may now think my kid is a hoodlum.

I emailed her and apologized for the actions of my son.  I told her we didn't condone that type of behavior and we were disappointed in his actions.  I asked that she and her son forgive my son and not judge him by this one occurrence.  Honestly, her son was just as much at fault as my son, possibly more.  Her son used very harsh words and even made fun of my kid.  BUT- I was trying to be the bigger person...something my mom told me was an important, but difficult, thing to do in life.

That was days ago.  I still have not received a response.  At first, I thought she hadn't checked her messages.  But when I went back in to check for a response, I saw that the message had been read a few hours after I sent it.

I sent another message, explaining that I found out more about the story.  Several of the texts were sent by another person, pretending to be my son.  I wanted her to know that he, although not innocent, did not say all those things.

Still nothing.

I've been on pins and needles awaiting her response.  I've checked and discovered that both messages have now been read.  Why can't she respond- even a few words to say that kids are kids and make stupid decisions?

No courtesy.

Rather than lowering myself to the levels of these two people, I'm going to continue to be the bigger person.  I'm not going to call out the bad driver and cause a scene.  I'm also not going to send another email, stating that her son was just as much at fault and should also be apologizing.  I'm going to let both incidents go and just continue being a nice person.  Well, that and try to find a way to pay back my parents for their dented fender.


Jo said...

Sad but true ... more and more people lack common decency these days. No wonder the world is in the state it is.

Stephanie said...

Oh so so hard. I find the only comfort I have in situations like this is that karma will get these people in the end. All we can do is keeping being out best selves and setting positive examples for our kids.
I hope your parents are okay..