Rough Day

If you've been a reader of my blog, you know how difficult my grandmother's road with Alzheimer's has been.  She was my favorite grandmother; probably my favorite relative ever.  I am the only grandkid who got her green eyes and I named my first daughter after her.

This coming Friday is my cousin's out-of-state wedding.  We all knew neither Grandma nor Grandpa could attend the wedding and my mom decided to stay home too.  It's sad because my family is so close.  My cousins are like my siblings.  My aunts are extra mothers.  We're tight-knit.  The thought of some of my family not attending G's wedding breaks my heart.

Over the weekend, Grandma got really bad.  Last Friday, she woke up around 2:00 in the afternoon.  This has been a normal wake up time for her.  That night, however, Grandpa tried to put her to bed around 9:00.  He gave her her Alzheimer's medication and a sleeping pill.  She didn't go to sleep.  Grandpa didn't go to sleep.  At 2:00 the next day, she was still up.  She was very groggy and made absolutely no sense (worse than usual).  At bedtime, Grandpa gave her an extra strong sleeping pill.  Hospice told him he could give those to her all along but he was afraid to do so.  She finally crashed around 8:30 PM.

Grandma hasn't eaten a bite of food in a month.  Family friends don't believe us when we say that, but it's true.  She drinks a cup or less of milk a day.  I guess that's what's keeping her going.  So, for a person to stay awake for over 24 hours with no nourishment whatsoever- it's baffling.  I was worried that she would go to sleep and never wake again.  That brings us back to the wedding issue.

If she died Saturday, we could squeeze in the funeral before the wedding.  If she hangs on until Tuesday or Wednesday, there's no way.  I can't see how we could wait until after the wedding for the funeral either.

She did wake up Sunday late afternoon, but I use that term loosely.  She couldn't walk.  She couldn't sit up.  My father carried her to a chair and basically propped her up.  She would speak words occasionally, but they didn't have any reason.  Her eyes were only half open and she looked horrible.  She's down to 108 lbs., fully clothed and with a robe.

We stopped by Sunday evening and I lost it.  I held on until my dad and grandpa left to pick up food.  When we were ready to leave, I told Grandma goodbye.  That's when it happened.  For the first time, I bawled my eyes out.  In front of people.  My mom bawled.  My husband bawled.  Son #1 was tearing up and I told him it was OK to cry.  He did.  Big Sis bawled, but Son #2 is a tough guy.  He excused himself from the room.  It was a total cry fest but I think we needed that.  I knew it was the last time I was seeing my grandma alive.  We took a final photo with her, all red faced with swollen eyes.  She looked asleep in the picture.  Eating and sleeping that night were difficult.

I'm sorry this post sounds so choppy and my thoughts are so unorganized.  I've been trying to get out this post for 3 days and don't want to keep tweaking it.

I had A Day yesterday.  Grandpa had an eye doctor appointment and asked me to keep Grandma.  Hubby was off work and Grandpa said  he wanted him there too.  If Grandma would wake up, he would have to move her.  She didn't wake and things went fine.  I had a youth group meeting that evening and had nothing planned.  A dear friend texted me and told me she would plan the meeting and I shouldn't worry.  Thank God for good friends!

After my meeting, we stopped back up at Grandma's.  She was up, even though her eyes were closed.  She seemed much better than Sunday and it really lifted my spirits.  I sat down beside her on the couch and looked at her frail hand.  It's no more than skin covering bone.  Her wrists are so skinny and her legs are about the size of my 7-year old's.  As I was studying her hand, she picked it up and took hold of my hand,  she held me with both hands and started stroking my arm.  For more than 5 minutes, she sat there massaging my inner forearm.  It was so special and sweet and kind of difficult to put into words.  I think it's a moment I will remember about her forever.  I had to break the mood because my kids were long past their bedtime.  If that was my  last moment with Grandma, it was a special one.

So that's what's going on with me.  If I don't post regularly, you know why.

Idiots and Randomness

The idiot is me.  The rest of this post does not relate in any way, hence the title Idiots and Randomness.

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I'm having computer issues once again.  I'm sure you've seen my setup before- we have two computers on one long desk.  Well, the one on the right won't connect to the internet.  I finally bribed my brother with chocolate chip cookies to come look at it.  Turns out, the #$@&* card has malfunctioned.  (Don't worry, I wasn't swearing.  I just don't know the name of the gizmo that's broken.)  Little bro is ordering one.

The computer on the left is slower than an overweight, aged tortoise.  It's supposed to be the kids' computer so it doesn't perform all that well.  It's all I've had available lately so I've overworked it.  It takes several minutes for a web page to load.  I can't handle that.

My laptop is lovely but won't connect to the internet either.  It really never has.  I think it's a lemon but never bothered to send it back.  Somehow, I figured out that I could get it to connect if I hardwired it.  Viola!  We have liftoff, people!  My internet connection is so fast...it totally rocks!

BUT- I'm confined to this desk space because I'm hardwired.  I have the laptop set up directly in front of Computer #1.  Guess how dumb I am?  I keep grabbing the mouse from the computer to try to move my cursor on the laptop.  When it doesn't work, it takes me several seconds to figure out why. Yeah, a bright one I am not.

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More dumbness:  I am totally addicted to Draw Something on my phone.  It's a completely mindless, time-wasting game.  One must be a true idiot to be as addicted to this game as I am.  My friends weren't keeping up with me so I took to playing with complete strangers.  Ha!  Message me if you want to play with me!  (Don't worry, I won't call you an idiot.)  I will warn you that my artistic skills are sub-par at best.

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Good news though- I was totally on time to pick up Son #1 from tuba lessons yesterday!  It's ridiculous how proud I am of that slight achievement.

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As I sit here typing, Baby Girl just says, "I'm coloring like a genius."  I don't know where she got that word but it totally made me smile!

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The timer on the washing machine just buzzed.  Baby Girl is downstairs trying to finish the laundry.  "What do I do, Mama?" she's calling.  I guess I'd better get off my duff and do my motherly duties.  Glad I have that toddler to keep me in line!

Getting Grouchy at Drop-Off

Few things make me grouchier than the drop-off line at school in the mornings.  Grrr...my stress level is rising just thinking about it!  People drive with such little compassion for others; it really chaps my hide! 

The first thing that set me off this morning was the chick in the gold mini-van who attempted to do a U-turn right in front of me.  Sadly, our school sits on a busy street with one no-outlet side street bordering it.  It makes traffic flow horrendous.  So, this lady decides she's going to turn around on the side street.  Ha- yeah, right!  I had to wait on the main road while she drove in a semi-circle, ran out of room, backed up, and drove forward again.  Traffic was backing up because of her.  (I believe U-turns in the middle of the road are still illegal.  Yep, they are.)

Because it was raining this morning, I decided to drop Big Sis off at the back door.  She has a shorter walk that way.  Of course, the line was at least 15 cars long.  Up ahead, I see my good friend who is third in line.  She lets her kids out right there to help keep the line moving.  I shout Bravo! in my car, even though she can't hear me.  The dude behind her doesn't follow her lead and puts his truck into park.  He gets out, opens the door for his kid, and watches as the kid walks away.  Impatience growing...

Finally, I'm second in line.  Big Sis and I always do our goodbyes while waiting in line.  She takes off her seat belt, collects her belongings, and showers Baby Girl and me with hugs and kisses.  When my car stopped, she jumped out and ran into the school, ponytail bouncing.  The car ahead of me is still stopped and that child is just getting out.  My daughter is already in the school and the car ahead of us is still wrapping up business.  Finally, the child starts walking into the school.  The mom sits there and waits for her kid to get all the way inside!  With the manly gym teacher standing right there, does she think some molester is going to come along and grab her child within five feet of the school doors?  Just drive, lady!!!

I'm back to the intersection of the side street and main street.  Drop off in front of the school is crazy, due to the late hour.  (Yeah, we were running late again.  Surprised?)  Some carefree grandma decides to stop her car right in the intersection to let her kid off.  There apparently wasn't room directly in front of the school and she didn't want to make little Johnny walk ten extra feet.  So, here I am, stopped on the side street.  I'm unable to get out onto the main road because she is out of her car, walking around it!  Little Johnny didn't close the passenger door so she had to wobble all the way around the car to close it for him.

Is it just me?  Do I need anger management or do things like this bug the snot out of you too?  I don't claim to be the best driver in the world, but I try to be very considerate.  By the time I arrived home this morning, I was steaming.  Maybe riding the bus to school in the morning isn't such a bad idea after all....

WWTK

Today is Wednesday, so I'm linking up with Mamarazzi for We Want to Know!  Join in the fun!

{1} What is your favorite way to celebrate birthdays?

Mine- getting together with a bunch of friends.  Each year for my birthday, my mom and best friend will organize a birthday lunch for me.  Usually, Hubby and I will go out that night.  Cooking on my birthday is strictly forbidden.

The Kids- I like to have parties here at my house.  For milestone birthdays, I like to do something special.  Both of the boys have had surprise parties for their 10th and I'll probably do the same thing for the girls.  (Big Sis hopefully won't realize both her brothers had surprise parties for their tenth.)  Son #1 turns 13 on Friday the 13th this year, so I need to think of something great to do.  I can't believe he's that old already!

{2} Which is more fun to celebrate? Celebrating yours or your loved ones?

Of course the best answer would be to say I enjoy celebrating others' birthdays better.  But that's simply not true.  Call me selfish, but I love celebrating my own birthday.  That doesn't mean I'm happy about the age I'm turning, but I love some personalized spoliling once a year!

{3} What is your dessert of choice for birthday celebrating?

I always make a very special cake for the kids.  Big Sis starts talking about her cake 364 days before her next birthday.  Here are some of the favorites I've made:















{4} Tell us about your best birthday you've ever had.

My 30th was fun.  I thought for sure that Hubby was planning a surprise party for me.  He didn't, but that was OK.  We ate at my favorite restaurant with my parents and brother and sister-in-law.  The following weekend, a bunch of friends and I stayed in a hotel and went shopping all day.  We had dinner somewhere fancy and had a great girls day out. 

{5} Share your favorite birthday song.

I only know one birthday song; are there more?  My family always harmonizes on the last line...it's kind of our thing.  I think everyone in my extended family can actually sing, so it works.

{6} Bonus question: if you could pick any age to be again, how old would you be and why?

That's a really tough question.  There are a couple years I would pick just so I could get a re-do.  One of my favorite years was probably 23 because it was the first year I was a mom.  I kind of really like the age I am now - 29 (for the 7th time). 

My Super Power

Have you ever thought about what you would choose as your super power, if that was possible?  Maybe it's the imaginative dreamer in me or maybe I'm nothing but a child inside, but I think about things like this all the time.

When we're driving in the car for twelve hours, trying to reach our vacation destination, I wish I could cause the mini-van to boost into the sky and fly over all the traffic.

When I'm in an uncomfortable situation, that's when I wish for my invisibility.  I would like to simply disappear to free myself from that time and that place.

Sometimes, I wish I could lose ten pounds with the snap of a finger.  That is usually related to an event where I'm seeing friends from the past and am feeling particularly chubby at the moment. 

There are times when I would love to be able to put my hyper children into a state of calmness...actually, this one happens nearly every day.

But the super power I wish for most often is the ability to freeze time.  Above all other powers, this is the one I would choose.  You see, I am always late.  I hate being late; I truly despise it.  I try and I try to be on-time but I fail at this task almost daily.  I am late every single week to pick up Son #1 from tuba lessons.  His poor teacher waits with him outside the school after every lesson, waiting on me to arrive.  I seriously need to make this guy some cookies or something.  I feel horrible each time I see the two of them standing there in the cold, waiting on me.

Every Sunday morning and every Wednesday night, I am supposed to be at church early for Bible Quizzing practice.  I am the assistant coach and I'm late every time.  Seriously, every single time.  It's so hard to get my four children dressed, fed, looking presentable, and out the door on time.  I've taken to waking up a half hour earlier on Sundays and eating dinner an hour sooner on Wednesdays.  Still, I'm late.

On Sunday evenings, I typically have vocal music practice at church.  Yep, I'm late every time.  I start getting ready at 4:00 and still struggle.  Last week, I started getting ready one hour earlier and still ran late!  I just don't know what to do with myself.

I tried setting my clocks fast.  That didn't work because I knew they were fast.  I tried setting out everyone's clothes and ironing them the night before.  That didn't help either.  I'm afraid I'm a lost cause.  When I was single and newly married, I was early for everything.  I blame it totally on the children.

So, if anyone discovers some sort of magical crystal at the bottom of the ocean that allows a person to actually freeze time, please offer to share it with me.  I need it more than you know!

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Tell me, what would you choose as your super power, if you were allowed just one?  Also, do you tend to run late, no matter how hard you try?

What's Up

I got a lot of nice comments on yesterday's post!  They all made me smile!  :)  I'm still behind with my blog reading.  It makes me sad to think there's so many posts out there I want to read and don't have the time for right now.  Hopefully later...

I registered for my third marathon team relay yesterday!  I'm running 5.5 miles this year, about 3/4 of a mile shorter than last year.  The weather here has been so warm lately that I'm really anxious to get out an run!  I wonder how far I can make it right now without keeling over?

Someone I know made a phony Facebook profile for a mentally challenged man we all know.  It was horribly offensive.  The person purposely misspelled words, trying to make it look authentic.  He made comments that we would "get" but that were actually making fun of this poor man.  He connected to about 70 people, all who were too busy or naive to understand that it was a hoax.  The dead giveaway was that all of the likes and movies on the profile involved one key word that mocks the man's appearance.  I'm not quite sure who started the profile, even though I have suspicions.  Apparently, it's someone who lacks a soul.

After seeing this photo, I realized
what I experienced was nothing in
comparison!!!

On the way to church last night, which is only a five minute drive, it began hailing severely.  Visibility became very poor as vehicles pulled off to the side of the road.  I was ten minutes late for a meeting I was supposed to conduct so I was quite frantic.  The hail was so loud and pounding that I thought my windshield would surely break.  I dropped the kids off under the carport and parked my car.  Even with an umbrella, I was completely soaked by the time I made it into the church.  I had never before experienced weather like that!  Hubby was disappointed my windshield did not shatter because we need a new one anyway.  Thanks, babe. 

Did you hear about the school shooting the other day?  It's got my kids kind of worried, as they watched news coverage at school.  I tell them that we can't live in fear.  We've got to trust that God will protect them as they enter the school each day and that's why we pray every day before school.  I admit that I would be terrified to send my kids into a school each day without first praying over them.  I've even called home from vacation before to pray with them before they leave.  Sadly, school shootings will likely become more common.  We live in a wicked age.

My son is texting girls.  That's all I have to say about that.

I'm thinking about tomatoes again.  I can't remember when I planted my seeds last year but it seems like it was in March.  I'm glad I have the luxury of going back through my blog and reading about when I planted before.  I'm definitely doing that again this year!  I might expand the size of my garden and plant some other things this year.  The sad thing is that my family doesn't really like vegetables.  So I'm kind of at a loss for what to plant. Isn't that horrible?

Son #1 did not receive gifted identification in instrumental music.  He was pretty bummed about that.  Hubby said maybe it's a good thing to keep him grounded.  I feel bad for the poor guy.  He really worked hard.  He's almost as tall as me now and that's kind of freaking me out.  I borrow his shoes to run down to the mailbox.  What happened to my bald-headed baby boy?

I think a good goal to have, as far as house cleaning goes, is to try to keep the majority of the house picked up.  Each day, concentrate on one room and give it a good cleaning.  Focusing on one room at a time should make your home easier to keep up and won't overwhelm you.  Doesn't that sound great on paper?  Is there any chance that will work in the real world?  I spent over an hour in my bathroom this week, cleaning every nook and cranny.  I cleaned areas that hadn't been cleaned in far too long.  Now, if I can just keep at it, maybe it will stay that way.  Hold on a second, I just fell off my chair laughing.

WWTK

Happy Leap Day!  Today is Wednesday so I am linking up with Mamarazzi for We Want to Know!  Feel free to join in!

{1} What are your Top 3 blogging tips for other bloggers?
- Comment on other people's blogs.  It brings a smile to my face every time I receive a new comment.  :)  If I've been reading someone's blog for two years and they've never left a comment on my blog, I feel like they don't care about me. 

- Don't complain too much.  A little complaining is fine...it makes you seem normal.  But when every single post on someone's blog is a complaint, it gets old.  I've unsubscribed from a few blogs because they were constant downers.



A random phone pic
while driving

 - Use pictures!  Nothing spruces up a post more than a picture!  Even if it has nothing to do with your topic, it still makes your page look lovely!  When I don't have time to take my own photo and upload it, I'll at least try to get a generic image from Google.  Posts that are nothing but words with no formatting get pretty boring. 

{2} What book have you read lately that you would recommend?

Well, I've started two lately but neither is anything to write home about.  The last good book I read was "Minding Frankie" by Maeve Binchy.  I have "The Help" sitting on my coffee table, waiting to be started.  Oh, how I wish I had it in Kindle edition!  I hear it's fabulous!  I'll get to it when life slows down a bit.

This is me.  I have so few pics of me.

{3} What is a physical feature you have been complimented on?

My husband likes my eyes and freckles but random strangers rarely comment about them.  From people I don't know, I usually hear comments about my hair.  That's funny because my hair is such a chore for me!  It's really nice when someone notices it!

{4} What color is your toothbrush?

Blue, I think?  For some reason, Hubby's is pink and I always grab it by mistake.  I just buy tons of random colors and the first one I pick up and open is the one I use.  Yeah, it's blue; I'm sure now.  (I must keep my toothbrush separate from my children's toothbrushes because Baby Girl likes to grab random ones to use.  That grosses me out.)

{5} What question would you like to add to a future WWTK?

How do you juggle it all?  How many different "hats" do you wear and how to you accomplish all you have to do?

Lately, I have more "hats" than heads and I'm having a difficult time keeping track of everything.  You have probably noticed my blog has been suffering because of it.  I love writing on my blog, but sometimes I must neglect it when I have too many other things going on.  Family, church, home, and school come first.  Blogging, television, and pleasure reading come last, if there is time left.

Goings On



Son #1 at another concert

 Lots of stuff going on in my life should give me great topics for my blog.  One would think.  Life has been so incredibly busy lately that I haven't found much time for quality blogging.  When I do have a few minutes to sit down, I can't think of anything to say.  It's because the things going on around here couldn't possibly be interesting.  I'll share a few of the less mundane things.

Hubby had a basketball tournament one state over last weekend.  (I'm so tired of travelling every weekend.)  His first game was Friday night at midnight.  The poor sap doesn't understand that he's no longer 22.  I got to see an awesomely fun cousin-in-law of mine.  She did, however, give me bad driving directions.  Hubby gave me bad directions as well.  I spent a lot of time driving in the wrong direction.  Sadly, the Midwest is not that interesting for sightseeing.  Son #1 was in another different state at the same time with his youth group.  Kind of a weird feeling.

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Last Monday, there was no school for the kids.  Hubby was presented with the opportunity to have a day off so he pounced on it.  He ended up going on a short road trip with my grandfather and uncle to pick up our church's broken down van an hour away.  I stayed with Grandma for a few hours but she slept the entire time.  After that, we went to Old Navy and Best Buy in search of President's Day sales.  I did get one awesome deal.  I had been looking for a running jacket but didn't like the prices.  I found an adorable jacket at ON that was $49.  There was a sign overhead saying that athletic jackets were $25.  I was pumped!  When I took it to the register, it rang up at $39.  I explained that the sign said $25.  It turns out that the sign was actually for windbreakers, but because it was hanging directly over the jacket I wanted, they gave me the deal!  Hurrah for Old Navy!!!

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Last week, Son #2 had his last Pinewood Derby.  He graduates Cub Scouts this year and moves on to Boy Scouts.  How's this for a perfect sendoff:  he didn't win one race.  Not one!  He is a fabulous sport and knows how to lose with style.  He tried racing his car backward and even said he was going to try doing it sideways (which isn't possible).  He had a great attitude and really made me proud!

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I saved $65 at the grocery store today and stocked up on some great things.  My best deal was 9 protein bars for free!  Not bad, not bad!

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I am behind on laundry, behind on housework.  I finally broke down and bought a bottle of Swiffer Dust & Shine (because it smells heavenly), even though it wasn't on sale.  I did use a coupon though, so don't get too frightened.  My house needs some serious dusting!  Today, Son #1 has French horn lessons and Philharmonic rehearsal.  So it's another one of those busy days, yet I don't really feel the need to do my hair.  It's all good.

See, I told you- totally uninteresting.  If you made it this far, you deserve a milkshake.

WWTK

I totally have boring answers today, but I'll answer the questions anyway.  Crazymama wants to know how I pamper myself...

{1} What is your go to color if you paint your nails? Do your toes and fingernails match?
Clear.  Yep, boring old clear.  99% of the time, my nails aren't even painted clear.  So yeah, I guess my toes and fingernails match because neither of them have anything on them.  I really don't understand how anyone can keep their nails from chipping.  I always end up scraping my polish off when I do wear it.

{2} Have you ever gone for a mani/pedi? How often do you go?
I had a manicure before my wedding fifteen years ago.  I have a Groupon right now for a mani/pedi that I bought for a friend and myself for her birthday.  It's about to expire so I'd better use it!!!  To answer this question, I go every 15 years.

{3} Do you color your hair? Do you have a salon do it or do you do it yourself?
Nope!  My hair is a natural combination of brown and gray.  You can't duplicate this, ladies!

{4} Facials...have you ever had one?
Ha ha...nope!  I really don't desire to have a person that close up in my personal space.  I don't even like how close the eye doctor and dentist have to get to me.  I worry the whole time that I'm going to laugh.  It's a nervous thing, I guess.

{5} Would you or have you ever done botox?
Judging by my previous answers, what do you think?  Negative.

{6} Beauty knows no pain, do you believe in waxing, electrolisis, eyelash extentions, anti-aging creams, micro-dermabrasion, peels, botox?
I use Olay moisturizer.  That's about it.  I don't even wear makeup.  I may be the only person you know who can actually say that.  No foundation, no mascara, no lipstick.  Just good old Blistex or Burt's Bees lip balm.  I do believe in Spanx and very high heels.  That's how beauty brings pain to me.  Oh, and lots of hairpins that give me a headache.  I work quite hard to get my hair up and looking perty every day.

By the way, I am linking up with Mamarazzi for We Want to Know.  Feel free to join in the fun!

An Apology

I am sorry to all those who received a spam email from me a couple days ago.  I have no idea how it happened and had no intention to harm anyone.  I have not opened any spam myself so can't quite figure out how all my contacts were emailed from my account.  I hope no one suffered any problems because of it.  Please let me know if it ever happens again.  I will close my account if necessary.

While it happened, we were on another road trip.  I'm glad to finally be back to my own bed!  Aren't hotel pillows horrible???  Hope everyone had a restful Sunday and a beautiful weekend!