The Football Thief

True Story:

Yesterday afternoon, my boys were playing golf in the front yard. My oldest ran in the house and said that some kids just stole a football out of our yard. They threw their $2.50 football into our yard and grabbed our nice leather ball. Right in broad daylight, right in front of my kids. In the past year and half, we have had two bikes stolen. Nice bikes. So this angered me to no end. I marched outside in my bare feet just to see the kids turning the corner at the end of the street. I grabbed my shoes and went to my aunt's house. She has three tall, 20-somethings living in her house so I solicited their help. Of course, the cousin who was available is the one who just tore his ACL. I demanded that my little cousin go home and watch the kids while his 6'3" brother and I took off down the street. Because of his hobbling, I didn't think we would ever catch up with them. We rounded the corner at the grocery store and I caught sight of them throwing up our football into the air. Would they run? Would they tackle the 34-year-old lady and Gimpy, the handicapped guy? Would they shoot us? No. When we got within 20' of them, the one with the football turned and extended his arm, offering the football to us. Gimpy tossed the K-Mart football back to him and took ours back. My hero! So, one of two things will happen now: either they will target our house and totally trash it or they will know they'd better stay away from us. I hope it's the latter.