~my thoughts about life~

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


Lately, I've felt like I've been juggling too many balls and some of them are starting to get dropped.  There is so much in life that's important to me and there's nothing I want to give up.  I keep trying to find more hours in the day, which turns out to be impossible every single time.  I have so many interests and I want to try everything. 

This summer, I planted a garden.  It was my first time and it was a lot of work, but I wouldn't trade that for anything.  I canned my own salsa.  That took up nearly two days but I am so glad to have fresh, homemade salsa right now. 

I tried my hand at sourdough bread again and planned on posting about it.  I took pictures at every stage and made great notes.  It flopped.  That was a huge disappointment, as homemade sourdough is something I really want to do in life.  I must try again.

I love my blog.  I try to post at least every weekday.  Lately, I feel like I've been losing quality in my posts because I'm simply trying to get something on here every day.  Do you feel like my quality is lacking?  I don't want to give up blogging...it's a creative outlet that's just for Me.

Church activities.  There's way too many to name- from the sign language group I direct to the teenage girls group I'm in charge of.  Simply going to services and singing in the choir is a big commitment that a lot of people don't make.  These activities are things I certainly don't plan on giving up.

I recently started couponing, which a lot of people think is totally nuts.  I saved nearly a hundred dollars yesterday, which is something that comes in really handy for this non-working mother.  I think this is one of the projects that threatened to send me over the edge.  Still, I don't plan on giving it up.  I will simply try to manage better.  And I hope to get much quicker as time goes on.

Add to all that a husband, four kids, and a home that needs a lot of cleaning.  Those are the most important things to me in life.  I know some overwhelmed mothers end up walking away from all of that.  Not a chance.  I will drop anything and everything before I neglect my family.

My husband gets home from work every day between 7 and 7:30.  That's after leaving the house at 5:00 AM.  After we eat dinner, it's time for the kids to get ready for bed.  Also, starting in December, he's going to be picking up Saturdays until around noon.  I feel like we have no family time.  Weekends are spent getting everything done that we didn't find time for during the week.

After all this is said and done, what's left?  About five minutes.  That's my Me Time.  I'm not one of those women who goes out weekly for a Girls' Night Out.  I don't take a mental health break for a regular mani/pedi.  My Me Time consists of a half hour after everyone goes to bed.  The house is dark and quiet and the stress melts away.  In my flannel pajamas, I read blogs, watch TV, or occasionally read a magazine or book.  A half hour is all I need to wind down and drift happily into a sleep filled with frequent, odd dreams.

But I have dropped some balls.  I totally don't help out in PTA any more.  I feel horrible about that.  I used to be at the school for every event.  Now, my kids are spread out between two schools and I can't find time for either of them.  Taking Monkey Girl with me to meetings proves very difficult.  I did help run the Halloween party Friday but that was my first time helping out this year. 

I also haven't been on a run since the day of the race.  I've seen the results of that decision, which are extremely visible around my waistline.  Running, although so incredibly hard, was a bit more of Me Time.  Plus, I felt great when I did it.  But dark evenings and cold weather mixed with no babysitter makes finding running time impossible.  (I wish I had a treadmill!)

There are several messages I've posted on the board at the back of my mind, the one that I rarely access.  I'm supposed to find a recipe for a friend.  I'm supposed to work on the schedule for youth groups and share it with the other leaders.  I'm supposed to research and report all the unnecessary charges from our vacation that were caused due to our train being cancelled.  All these things were supposed to be already done.  There are a few other notes on that board that I can't quite make out.  See, that's what I get when I try to remember things.  I just can't.

What's the solution?
A.  Hope that God decides to stick a couple extra hours in each day
B.  Petition for an extra weekend day called Sunterday
C.  Give up some of my projects or hobbies
D.  Man up, manage my time differently, and refuse to accept stress, all while continuing to do everything I'm doing now

I choose D.  What do you do when you're feeling overwhelmed?  What things cause you to feel like you're about to drop all that you're trying to juggle?  If someone else is in this boat with me, maybe I'll feel less stressed knowing I'm not alone.

1 comment:

CarrieGirl1179 said...

I am floating in that boat right along with you! I actually had a bit of a meltdown yesterday and cried for a while to my sister. She calmed me down and now I'm ready to make things work the best I can and try not to stress over the things I can't do. Good luck to you and I hope you feel better knowing that you're not alone :)